I want to preference this by saying I don't know what my mother's side of the family is really going to do or say. I can only take from the stories people had told and my own thoughts and fears. I hope these fears will not become reality, but there's a possibility they could and just like everything I think will leave me damaged, I have to be prepared.
Will you deny the fact that I'm Bisexual? Will you think that in the end labels don't matter because I will marry a guy and everything would be fine and this page within our lives will be ripped to shards, forbid to be talked about again.
Or will you leave it to God's hand to straighten me out.
Are you going to knee beside your bed, hands claps together turning white with pressure as you mouth your prayer to God. Asking him why, again. We already have a queer relative.
Then, it slowly sinks in.
Are you going to try to change me? Ask me to go to church with you, maybe even gift me a bible once or twice.
Are you going to make side comments? Talk about my girlfriends in bad light only picking out the things that are wrong with her. Will you do that to my boyfriends to or will you tell everyone we're perfect for each other?
Maybe, we'll never get to the stage. Instead, you'll slowly drift away. It will start with spending less time with you outside the holidays and then it will get worse, you'll stop inviting us to family dinners, forgot to send cards on birthdays until you no longer exist in our lives.
If that end up happening I have one request to make, if you're going to cut me out of your lives that is fine because I already struggle with social anxiety and depression, why am I going to subject myself to gathering were I knew people will be watching me.
But, please don't cut out the rest of my family.
However, maybe there will be none of what was previously mentioned and you'll end up hugging me saying that it's alright and that you accept me. That you'll be at my wedding, watching me walk down the idle in a black wedding dress because let's be honest I won't wear any other colour. And as I walk I'm trying to hold back tears because I can't believe I get to be marrying this amazing person.
I hope these fears don't come true, but ultimately you have the next move.
YOU ARE READING
Violet Strings
Poetry"My lips burn to feel the pressure of her lips on mine." Violet Strings is an LGBTQ+ poetry collection that focuses on romance between two girls, coming out, her not being accepted in her family and how she deals with everything.
