Flying (Fight Song Book 2)

Chapter 23: List: Accomplished

Dear Mum,
I'm sorry for being a crappy son at times. I know you love me and I'm bloody fantastic overall but I often don't listen or I disobey you or I say shit I don't mean. I'm sorry for all of it. I love you so much for everything you do for me, and every time you put up with my shit. Thank you for being the best mum.
Lots of love from Joseph xxx

Then Zoe.

To Zoella,
I know I'm honestly the best brother you could ever ask for, but that doesn't mean I'm perfect, and I wanna apologise for all the times I've said something intended as a joke but it's crossed the line. I need to learn that you've got a different sense of humour and my words can often hurt more than I realise. Thank you for loving me and helping me through everything despite it all though. You're awesome.
Lots of love, Joe x

P.S. Sorry for the arts stuff I stole from your desk :)

Then dad.

Hi Dad,
I know you don't like soppy stuff so I'll keep it short. I'm sorry for every time I've disappointed you, disobeyed you or been rude to you. It's uncool and I'm grateful that you continually forgive me even when I don't actually say sorry. You're brilliant.
Love Joe x

I stay at the studio until I've written close to fifty apology letters and put them in envelopes that I've decorated with glitter and stickers I found and stole/borrowed from Zoe's room. They look great, and I'm honestly so proud of myself.

I take a photo of them all and send it to Dianne.

Dianne: no way did you do all that yourself omg

Joe: you better believe it - I mean I kinda stole Zoe's craft stuff from her room to make them look pretty, but I've been at the studio since you left making them all

Dianne: that's genuine dedication, how adorable

Joe: I can't wait for you to open yours

Dianne: wait you wrote one for me?!

Joe: but of course m'lady ;)

There was a long pause in which she didn't reply, and I was about to close my phone, assuming the conversation had ended, but then I got a new message.

Dianne: meet me in the park in 10

Joe: it's literally 11pm

Dianne: i know. now, as I said, meet me at the park in ten mins x

Joe: okay x

I stare at my phone wondering what could possibly be so important that she's making me go to the park in the freezing cold at 11pm on a school night instead of waiting to tell me tomorrow or, even better, just texting me. However, I'm super glad she's inviting me places now.

———

I get to the park before Dianne, and text her that I'm sat on the benches near the lamppost. It's not that I'm scared of the dark, but I want to be able to see her face.

"Read it to me," is the first thing she says as she jumps onto the seat opposite me. "Read me my letter."

Startled, it takes me a few seconds to register her request. I take out the letters, but they're pretty difficult to read in the dark, even with vague light from the lamppost.

"Umm," I say, squinting to try and make sense of the words.

"Okay, just tell me what it said then," Dianne says, realising I can't actually see it. "Just tell me what you wrote as best as you can remember."

I nod. The pressure was on. However, once I'd started, I realised how easy it was to keep going.

"To Dianne," I begin, my voice shaking slightly, and not from the cold. I take a deep breath and look her directly in the eye. "I love you. I love you so so much and the fact that I hurt you, intentional or not, breaks my heart. It's been the most miserable time without you by my side, because you made me a better person. You made me want to be the best person I could possibly be. And you still do. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to make you sad, for every time I've disappointed you, for every time I've left you feeling even the slightest bit down. You are the most important person in the world to me, and I can't stress enough how much life sucks without you. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are everything. You're beautiful, kind, strong, and so fucking talented. You're the best dancer on the team, and they need you. But more importantly, I need you. You complete me, and you make me a better person than I ever thought I could be. So I thank you, and I apologise to you, because it doesn't mean shit if everyone else loves me and you don't, because you're the only person who's opinion matters to me. And I'm rambling here and I'm sorry for that too because the letter was so well worded and this isn't because you're just sat in front of me and I don't know what to say because there aren't enough words in the world to explain my feelings towards you." I look down as I finish talking, feeling like I've totally fucked up. I should've just got out my phone torch and read the damn letter I'd already written.

"I'm sorry too," Dianne says quietly. I look up, and even though the only light sources are the moonlight on her face and the dim light from the lamppost, I've never been able to see her so clearly. "I overreacted. You complete me too, and you mean the world to me, and I'm sorry for everything."

Then she rises from her position opposite me, and walks round to sit next to me. Instinctively I reach up and touch her face, and she doesn't pull my hand off or lean back. She just holds me gaze, her face unreadable. We stay like that for a moment, just staring into each other's eyes, knowing nothing else matters but each other.

"I love you," she whispers.

And then she kisses me.

Dianne's PoV
The speech Joe gave me made me realise how much I'd fucked up too, and just how much he meant to me. I couldn't not kiss him in that moment, where he was at the most vulnerable I'd ever seen him, pouring his heart out to me.

"I love you too," Joe whispers when our kiss finishes, our noses and foreheads still touching. Then he suddenly sits backwards.

"But what about the list?" Joe looks at me.

"Fuck the list," I laugh. "It was dumb and I shouldn't have made it in the first place. It was just fun, but I don't need you to prove yourself. You'll never need to prove yourself. You're fucking awesome and I'm never letting anything break us up again."

He engulfs me into the biggest and most beautiful hug I've ever had, and we sit there in the moonlight just holding each other tightly, never letting go.

I hope you enjoyed that fluffy lil chapter bc I enjoyed writing it🥺🥰

Part of this was that I was rethinking the list and realised two lists were excessive and didn't really need to happen.

I've got shit tons of deadlines still so I'm still not 100% sure when the next update will be but I'm trying my hardest!!

- Bee xo