~ Grey Limits

༓ 》 13 - 𝘚𝘦𝘦 𝘐𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘔𝘦《 ༓

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~ My words don't make sense like before
My mind has become a journal of youth to be torn
I record the ones who played me wrong and submit the story, a cycle should end, I should find my glory

I've been challenged and I've cried on the streets
I've fallen on the ground and gained a couple of wrinkles finding less safety in my sleep

I've been memorizing numbers and names of elders
I've honored my feelings so I cried next to the homeless

I've cut cords and doubled the miles
Seeking what could pleasure my mind
I grow fond of horizons and ignored my reasons

I had ghosts around me asking for help
Three misunderstood my steps and two are holding my breath

Three threes and two elevens had my mind wondering
What does the divine want with this many beings alive?

Spells are chanted desperately
I understand faith differently
I understand the wholesome benefits of love figuratively

I'm angry you made it my fault
And anger isn't my thing at all
A dumb girl like you managed to wake me up
And a crazy one like me understood the fall

I've digested waves of music
I've sketched noises of memories
And I have loved life ever so endlessly

I chose to live for the crimson in the trees
For the water on the leaves
For the rich stars beneath my feet
A moment present here
Not a person in my future made of home
A feeling I have chased all along

Blaming myself for not being perfect
But do you understand how much I need it?!
I need to make fewer mistakes
I need to earn people's respect
I need the life of no regrets
I'm so scared of you beating me senseless

Be vulnerable and open with me
I've opened my heart for you vocally
Verbalized my needs and waited for mercy
And my bless was a candle that burned bright
Next to my crystals and pillows, I found my soul reside

I see skies from above heads and birds fly in waves
I have removed layers of shame
Copied women who do it well
Got my eyeliner to protect my face from the pain
High heels because I'm not a doll waiting backstage   

I've inherited beliefs that don't suit my health
My soul was a deep breathe locked in a shell
In the fall I was released, allowed to inhaled my essence and a mosaic left behind me to remind you of my presence

There's so much of me in this healing, so don't you glorify the sacrifice of my meaning
I will not sacrifice what makes sense to me, whether it's that God loves me or the joy of admiring feminine beauty. Her green eyes with her wooden guitar on my screen
I found loyalty in the emotions she makes me feel
The background to my artistic moods she seems to be

Mothers have hated their daughters
Fathers have abandoned their sons
You and I were brought to each other for tuning the strings
For the right note to be played when our time comes, we needed some tension to sharpen our minds

So I forgive you for letting me go
We made a future worth living after all
Worth ending our dragged story, forever never promised you'll still love me

You can let go of me now
I'm not afraid of the world anymore
Now I know, I am worth knowing, worth loving, and worth keeping.

_________________

.surrender.