MISMATCH

Chapter 30: Love Happens (NICOLE)

Disclaimer:

(Since I was undecided on how the story would end, I decided to make three versions so that readers could choose the ending they saw fit - and who they wanted to end up with whom. The real ending is Nicole's, but Tony and Matteo have their own)

When I gave birth, I hoped that it was Matteo who would be there in the delivery room. I hoped it would be him holding my hand, him staying by my side, him beside me. But it never happened.

It was Tony who filled in the shoes Matteo left behind. It was Tony who held my hand; it was Tony who stayed by me side; it was Tony who was beside me all that time.

I wanted to close the chapter that Matteo left unfinished in my life. I wanted to forget him as he had obviously forgotten me. I know I had no right to his heart because in the first place, it belonged to someone else. It was wrong for me to demand anything because in the first place I was no one to him but the mother of his baby. When I admitted my feelings, I selfishly thought he would choose me. I was deluded in thinking that since I was the mother of his son, I was the one for him.

But love doesn't work that way. And I guess pride and hurt took over my heart.

He wasn't there for me. But he was there for Nikolai - our son.

He arrived when Nikolai was born. He was there in the nursery to see him. He carried our son in his arms and held him tight. He wanted to stay by his son. He was there for him because he loved our son. And that was all that mattered.

***

After I gave birth, I had to face reality. I didn't want to be a  burden my sister anymore so I told her I would be moving out of her condo after two weeks. She was disappointed - I guess she grew accustomed to having me there. I did keep her mind off her broken heart after all. But I told her that I missed my room and Ma probably wanted to spend time with her first grandson. Plus, I told her that she had to find a better job. I teased her that I couldn't afford her salary hence she was "fired".

"But what will I do once you get back to managing the shop?" my sister complained.

"Go travel or something. You've always wanted to do that anyway."

"Who'll take care of your baby if you work? Do you really have to work?"

I laughed and hugged her. I loved how caring my sister had been towards me because of my situation. "I need to work in order to feed us. I am a single mom, remember? I have to work extra hard now. Plus I have to get a nanny and Ma offered to take care of Nikolai in the meantime."

"But what about me?"

"You're a successful career woman, Ate. I'm sure you can easily get a new job. You developed Mist remember? I saw it featured last week. The launch was a success. They're still talking about it."

Then she fell silent. "I, uh... let him take the credit."

My eyes widened. "Mist is your baby! Why did you do that?"

She shrugged and smiled. "Doesn't matter."

"You'll find someone better than him."

"Shouldn't I be saying the same for you?"

We both laughed. I guess we really were sisters.

***

All my life I've longed to be in love. All my life I felt that I had always been deprived of it and no matter how many times I prayed for Mr. Right to come my way, I felt that he always eluded me. It was like that with Tony. I settled because at that time I felt that he was the one available - the one I had to be with but not the one I wanted. Because of that it led to both of us hurting each other. I know I've hurt him deeply with what happened, and I know for a fact that up to now it's difficult for him to accept my situation.