Chapter 4

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"It's okay Magnus. You are safe. We both are. It was just a dream."

Alec kept caressing Magnus' back while holding him close. His entire body was aching from being in the same awkward position on the floor for a longer period of time. But he was not going to let go. Magnus was hurting. He didn't know why, but it didn't matter. He would sit here all day if he had too.

Alec could still feel tears slowly making their way down his cheeks. It effected him so much to see Magnus like this. He had never seen him fall apart like this before. And it scared him. IT had to have been an extremely terrifying dream.

"I can't win... I will never get out... I'll just keep hurting the people I love..."

Magnus' voice was barely a whisper. Alec couldn't quite understand what Magnus was saying.

"Magnus? What are you talking about? What is happening? You do know it was only a dream, right?"

The concerned look on Alec's face made Magnus pull himself together.

He brushed away the tears and forced on a half-hearted smile.

"ye...yes Alexander. I'm sorry... It wasn't my intention to scare you. It was just so real..."

His voice was still shaky and gravelly from the memories of that excruciating dream...

Magnus pulled himself off the floor and toke Alec with him.

For a minute they just stood there, holding each other. Either one just as insecure as the other. Both afraid of losing one another. But neither saying a word.

Alec wanted to say something. He wanted to express his love and his fears, because he wanted them to be able to communicate properly. But the words didn't come out. He tried more than once but choked.

What was he supposed to say anyway?

That he didn't like when Magnus was around other people than him?

That he was jealous?

That he wanted him to stay here. Stay close all the time?

That he felt like he wasn't good enough for Magnus?

That he was afraid Magnus found their relationship to complicated?

He couldn't do that. That wouldn't be fair. Especially when Alec had pushed Magnus away more times that he'd liked to admit.

This was his punishment. He had treated Magnus poorly and now he was paying for his mistakes.

Not that he thought Magnus was punishing him. No. It was just... Karma... or something. What goes around comes around, right?

And now he had to prove himself.

He would do better.

He would be better.

And he would start now!

Alec kissed Magnus before strolling into the kitchen, determent at making his boyfriend breakfast in bed. If he could get Magnus back to bed...

He would make Magnus' favorite breakfast and he would do everything in his power to make it romantic.

But... he wasn't quite sure what Magnus found romantic...

He could hear the water started running, and knew Magnus was now taking a shower. It gave him an opportunity to get it right...

Maybe he shouldn't make breakfast himself. Considering how it went the last time he tried to cook... No, he would run out and get some. And some roses.

Alec suddenly remembered the sweet note Magnus had left for him when they were on set. He had loved that. That was a romantic gesture!

He was going to leave Magnus a note. He quickly found pen and paper and started to scribble down his feelings. Pouring out his heart and soul...

Magnus stood in the shower leaning over with both hands placed on the wall. The water ran down his spine. He was lost in his thoughts and didn't even notice the noise from the front door closing.

Every scenario of how to defeat Lilith running through his mind. Discarding every single one because of the risk of her finding out and using Alec as a punishment.

How the hell did everything go so wrong?

The hot water had started to turn cold. He could feel his skin reacting to the low temperature. Goosebumps began covering his body.

How long had he stood there?

The sound of the front door opening, snapped him out of his deep thoughts.

He turned of the water and wrapped a towel around him. He could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen.

Magnus followed the smell and found Alec leaning over the kitchen counter with his shoulders dropped, staring down at his hands clenching a piece of paper.

"That smells amazing Alexander."

He walked over and kissed Alec's neck, feeling him tense up a bit before relaxing again. He turned around and Magnus could swear that for a second, he saw disappointment in Alec's eyes before he had smiled and kissed Magnus. But that couldn't be... It had to have been his imagination.

"I've bought us some breakfast. Please, take a seat."

Alec pulled out a chair and gestured for Magnus to sit down.

"What a gentleman."

Magnus smiled lovingly at his Alexander.

Going to the counter and grabbing the food to arrange it on plates, he threw out the note he held in his hands.

It wasn't important anymore...

What a silly thing to be disappointed over. It was just a note. Nothing vital. The important thing is to share this meal with my true love. It's not like he intentionally didn't see my note for him.

Before facing Magnus again, he put on a smile, pushing down the feeling that he once more had failed at being a good boyfriend.

"This looks amazing Alec. And it smells so good. Thank you, my love."

Magnus took Alec's hand and squeezed it.

"It's no big deal. Its not like I've made it... I just bought it..."

Alec mumbled incoherently.

"Did you say something sweet pea?"

Magnus looked up at Alec while taking a bite. Alec shook his head. He didn't want to ruin this too. He just wanted to see that pleased look on Magnus' face. That was all he wanted. That was all he ever wanted.

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