TROUBLED || thirteen reasons why

048.

The bell rings and Tristan immediately puts her notebook away and stands up to leave her class. She has never been good at history, and not having the class with Caroline is not helping her at all.

The girl walks into the hallway and her eyes quickly catch a glimpse of Zach Dempsey with his back against the lockers. As soon as he sees her, he pushes himself off the metal and crutches towards her, "Hey Tristan,"

Tristan's eyes flick away from him and she walks further down the hall, moving in between people in hopes of losing the boy. A hand wraps around her arm, stopping her from going any further, and Tristan knows it's Zach. She releases a sigh and faces him, her eyes not meeting his.

"Tris, can we please talk," Zach's voice begs. Tristan still doesn't look at him and instead watches the students pass by them. "I just want to talk about it."

Tristan crosses her arms as she looks into his brown eyes, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You know I wouldn't-"

"I don't know anything, apparently," Tristan snaps, her icy eyes leaving his.

"Tristan." Zach's tone is sharp and it makes the girl look back to him. He huffs and tugs at his hair. He doesn't say anything else, but Tristan knows he has a lot to say.

"If you really want to talk to someone, you should talk to her." Tristan spits, her cold eyes glancing at the keychain hanging on Zach's gym bag before she shoves past him.

Tristan sits alone at lunch. Caroline and the other cheerleaders had an emergency practice before their competition tomorrow, and while Tristan loves to hang out with her brother, she doesn't care for the football players he's sitting with today.

"Hey," Tristan looks up and sees Clay and his friend Ani standing across from her table, "Can we sit?"

Tristan shrugs and watches as the two sit down, both of them sneaking glances to one another. She scrunches her brows at their weird interaction, "What's up?"

"Uh- we just wanted to talk about Homecoming night." Clay speaks up first, looking at his soon-to-be sister.

Tristan sits up straighter and raises an eyebrow, "What about it?"

"Like did you know that it was Bryce who tackled Zach during the fight?" Ani asserts, her confidence attempting to push through to Tristan, but Tristan shrugs.

"No."

Clay fumbles around to retrieve his phone and swipes to find a photo before turning it to Tristan. The girl glances down to the image of Bryce Walker's jersey shoving Zach to the ground, right in the knee. Tristan's insides burn.

"Zach never told you?"

"Zach doesn't tell me a lot of things." Tristan answers Clay as she looks away from the pair, not wanting to talk about her boyfriend or the night of Homecoming again.

There's a beat of silence, but Ani's voice soon fills the emptiness, "Like about Chloë?"

Tristan's eyes pierce into Ani's and the anger radiates off her body, "What about Chloë?"

"It's just that Zach mentioned that you didn't like her. Why is that?" Ani presses.

"We were never friends. That doesn't mean that I didn't like her." Tristan's voice is harsh as she tries to think of something to get her away from this conversation.

"Why did you get mad at the rabbit's foot she gave Zach last spring?" Clay asks, curiosity flowing through his veins.

Tristan's eyes roll as she focuses back onto Clay. She doesn't say anything for a minute, trying to calm down her racing heart and chaotic mind, but she can see Clay and Ani waiting for her response. She sighs, "Fine. You want to know so fucking bad? I thought Zach was cheating on me with Chloë."

"Why would you think that?" Clay's head tilts as his eyes search Tristan's for an explantation.

Tristan shifts uncomfortably in her seat, glancing awkwardly at Ani, "Because... I don't know- I thought he went to Chloë because I wouldn't... wouldn't have sex with him."

"What?" Both Clay and Ani blurt at the same time. Tristan's burning face looks over her shoulder to make sure no one heard her confession.

"He- I don't know- he just started to hang out with her out of the fucking blue, and I would catch him texting her when we were together and I just put two and two together, you know? I never had any actual evidence that he was cheating, so I never mentioned it... So yeah, I fucking hate Chloë, what about it?"

Ani's dark eyes meet Tristan's, "Do you think Zach and Chloë are still together?"

"Fuck you." Tristan snatches her bag off the ground and storms away from the table. She can feel the hot tears slipping out of her eyes and she quickly wipes them away. How dare Ani ask her that. Who the fuck does she think she is?

Tristan swings open the bathroom door open and she quickly locks herself into a stall. She wraps her arms around herself as she tries to blink the thoughts of Zach with another girl out of her mind. She wants to say that he would never do that to her,  but how can she trust him? How can she trust anyone?

A breath escapes her lips and she unzips her backpack, fumbling around until she pulls out a white capsule out of the bottom. She rolls the pill between her fingers as the image of Zach with Chloë plays in her head.

Him kissing her.

Him touching her.

Tristan squeezes her eyes shut as she tries to push them out of her head. She glances down at the pill in her palm. If he knew, he would leave her for sure. Tristan takes in a shaky breath as she places it to her lips, debating. Is this really what she wants? She has been clean for months, but after Homecoming... she needed the getaway.

She opens her mouth and places the pill on her tongue.