TROUBLED || thirteen reasons why

036.

Tristan paces outside Mr. Jensen's office later that night. Her stomach churns as she clutches onto a notebook in her hand. She is nervous, and the soothing jazz coming from Matt's office doesn't calm her. She takes a big breath and balls up her fist. Tristan's hand hesitates for a moment before finally knocking on the wooden door.

"Come in."

The girl's heart is pumping as she opens the door and sees Mr. Jensen turned around in his chair, grading papers. Tristan gulps, "Um, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you..."

Matt gives her a warm smile as he puts his papers down and focuses on her, "Oh no, Tristan, you're fine. Is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong. I just- Clay left and I..." Tristan stutters as she tightens her grip on her papers. She doesn't know why she gets so scared when she talks to Clay's father, "I need help with my geometry homework..."

Matt lets out a laugh, relieving some of Tristan's stress. The man moves over and pulls a chair next to him and pats it, motioning Tristan to sit down, "Come on, let's see what I can do."

Tristan obliges and hands Matt her notebook, showing him the problem she can't solve. She watches him as he chews on his pen and examines the work she's already done. The two sit there for a while as Matt shows her how to work out the problem and watches her as she solves the next one.

With the help of Mr. Jensen, Tristan finishes her homework and she stands up to leave and let the man get back to his work, but before she can make it to the door, Mr. Jensen calls out, "Tristan, before you leave I just wanted to ask you... how you are doing?"

The girl looks back at the man confused, not knowing how to respond to his out of the blue question, "I, uh, good? I'm fine."

Mr. Jensen gives her a look that she can only define as he doesn't believe her. "Are you okay, Tristan? I know things haven't been easy for you lately, especially with your brother. I know you and Clay bump heads, and trust me, I had a talk with him about his outburst the other morning about Justin. I just want you to feel safe here."

A smile almost forms on her lips at his last statement. She does feel safe in this house. The most secure she's felt in a long time. She is about to answer him when someone clears their throat from behind her.

"Tristan?"

The girl whips her head around and gapes at the sight of her brother at the door. Justin stands there in his jean jacket and somber eyes, looking over his sister's appearance. He can tell she is angry at him, but he tries to see past that. "Tris, can we talk?"

Tristan's body is frozen as she stares at her brother, the one who supposedly ran away three days ago, and she is in utter shock. After last time, she didn't expect him to come back.

"Tris?"

She blinks back her thoughts and slowly nods at the boy. She exits Mr. Jensen's office and follows Justin up to Clay's bedroom. The boy closes the door behind them and he sits in front of his sister, "I'm sorry I left."

"Where did you go?" Tristan's voice doesn't even sound worried, it sounds defeated.

"I went back to Mom's." He answers, analyzing his sister's face for any kind of reaction.

"Oh."

"Tris, I'm sorry. I really am-"

"What do you want me to say?" Tristan shrugs, "That I'm mad or disappointed? I'm not Justin, I'm just tired of this."

"Tired of what?"

"Tired of you leaving me. Am I not enough for you to stay?" Tristan's eyes burn as she looks at her brother. He is beating himself up inside with her response.