100 Letters To My Future Self

24th Letter: 365 Questions Part X

271. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?

Nothing that I can still remember, because I throw my fears away.

272. Who would you like to please the most?

My family.

273. If you could go back in time and change things, what would you change about the week that just passed?

Nothing.

274. When you meet someone for the very first time what do you want them to think about you?

That I’m weird but wild.

275. Who would you like to forgive?

Myself

276. At what point during the last five years have you felt lost and alone?

Now.  But not lost.

277. What is one opportunity you believe you missed out on when you were younger?

Passing the scholarships

278. What do you want more of in your life?

Enough money to buy peace and happiness

279. What do you want less of in your life?

People

280. Who depends on you?

My family.

281. Who has had the greatest impact on your life?

I answered this already

282. Are you happy with where you are in your life?  Why?

I am happy. But right now, I’m still adjusting to some changes so I’m quite lonely.

283. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

I don’t know. I don’t want to imagine it.
If what’s supposed to happen will happen, then so be it.

284. How have you sabotaged yourself in the past five years?

I don’t know. I don’t remember any part of my life where I sabotage anything.

285. Other than money, what else have you gained from your current job?

A good reputation.

286. Whom do you secretly envy?  Why?

People. A lot of people. Because they’re successful and they have ambition and they can use other people any time they want for their own advantage without guilt.

287. In twenty years, what do you want to remember?

This moment. I want to remember how I struggle right now and how I’m fighting for my future self to be happy. She’s going to owe it all to me.

288. What are you most excited about in your life right now – today?

Playing minecraft

289. What experience from this past year do you appreciate the most?

The fact that I kept being jealous with people who had done something amazing yet I didn’t know that later on God had something in store for me which was much more amazing.

290. What is the most enjoyable thing your family has done together in the last three years?

Every moments of everyday that I’m with them at home.

291. How many hours of television do you watch in a week?  A month?  A year?

I only watch TV when I come home on the weekends. And I don’t want to calculate the hours. It’s kind of tiring me out.

292. What is the biggest obstacle that stands in your way right now?

Darkness.

293. What do you sometimes pretend you understand that you really don’t?

Math

294. What do you like most about your job?  What do you dislike most about your job?

The salary, free wifi, and the fact that sometimes I just sit all day and not doing anything. What I dislike about it, though, is that I don’t understand anything.

295. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?

I am getting weirder and weirder because sometimes, I find myself talking to nobody. Not a ghost kind of talking, but the kind of talking where you’re thinking of something in your head and suddenly you don’t notice you’re actually thinking out loud and muttering under your breath.

296. In one sentence, how would you describe your relationship with your mother?

It’s great. Now that I’m older, I’m beginning to understand all the decisions she had made for us and for herself.

297. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?

Probably the one during Christmas where we had some money and our fridge was filled with so much food, and we had lumpia rolls on Christmas eve and my sister got her first Vivo phone and we all talk about how happy we were ‘till new year’s eve.

298. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?

To get out of this darkness and take risks in everything

299. What makes you feel secure?

My job right now.

300. What is your favorite sound?
The sound of the ocean at daybreak and twilight