[ PARK JIMIN ]
"Are you sure it's just empathy? Are you sure you're not feeling... attracted to me?" There was a shift in his voice as it became more silky, pleasing to listen to. I could feel my muscles relax in response to the soothing sound. "Don...
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⊰ ＦＯＲＴＹ ＦＯＵＲ ⊱
THE PLAN
I felt strange that day. I was grumpy and irritable, and I wasn't able to sit still - I had to keep moving to battle the restlessness that plagued me. I was sweating more than usual while I did the typical chores to help pull my weight around the ship, and I would randomly get hit by a wave of dizziness here and there.
On any other day I would've questioned if I was getting ill, but I knew exactly what was causing my symptoms. I was making myself sick with all the worry and anxiety I had about Jimin and his secrets.
We were on our way to the place I grew up, and I couldn't have been more conflicted. Attempting to understand why Jimin would need to go there only left me more confused and desperate for answers.
After he had announced his destination, he walked off before any of us could question him, his eyes catching onto mine briefly as he disappeared. He continued to avoid me for the remainder of the day.
Why is he being so elusive? And what could he possibly be planning to do once we get there?
The only connection he had to that place was my father, but he was dead. I didn't want to entertain any other ideas just to be disappointed, so I started wondering how close that orphanage was that Jimin grew up in. Perhaps he had never travelled very far, and asking to go to my hometown was just a way for him to revisit his past. Maybe he wanted to track down Jack, the boy who had started the fire.
Whatever it was that he needed to do, I couldn't help but feel nervous about it. Especially since it was possible that whatever he was planning would be the cause of him leaving for good. I felt like I knew less than ever before, which is why my gut twisted in anticipation and flurried with butterflies when Jimin finally came to me in the evening.
I could tell by the way his eyes glinted nervously that he was going to tell me everything, like he'd promised.
"I'm sorry about last night," he said quietly after I'd led him into my bedroom.
"I know, Jimin," I sighed. "I just am having a hard time trying to understand you."
"Do you regret it?" His tone was hushed, afraid of my reply.
I sat down on the bed before looking back up at him. I found his eyes and my heart ached at the fragility in them. "I don't regret kissing you. But I won't let anything else happen between us until you can let me in."
"You probably won't want anything to happen with us after I tell you everything," he whispered, moving to slowly sit down beside me. His face was so expressive, so fearful, and it did nothing to put my mind at ease. I hated seeing him so worked up, and like a contagious disease his nerves infected me, putting me even further on edge.
"Don't say that. Just tell me and let me decide for myself what to think," I said as gently as I could manage. He watched me carefully, taking my hands in his.
