32. All I Needed to Know

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⊰ T H I R T Y  T W O ⊱

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⊰ T H I R T Y  T W O ⊱

ALL I NEEDED TO KNOW

"It's all your fault! If you would've just listened to me and let go of your need for revenge, she'd be fine right now!"

"I know. I'm already beating myself up about it, trust me."

The voices that spoke sounded distant and hazy, like I was listening from beneath the surface of water. I tried to open my eyes, to move any part of my body, but my limbs felt too heavy and my entire core was burning with a searing pain, all working together to keep me down.

"You could've gotten us killed. We don't even know for sure if she'll survive." A loud crash echoed and bounced off the walls. "Dammit!"

"Yoongi, we know you're upset—we all are, but give him a break. He didn't force us to stay. Kat chose to stand with him."

Silence filled the air after Taehyung's point was made, or maybe I had just fallen too far back into the depths of nothingness, unable to hear what they were saying.

Time passed so slowly that it was agonizing. My awareness slipped in and out though my body stayed frozen. I could hear the mumblings of different voices as they spoke to each other, the sound of boots tapping across the floor, bodies entering and leaving the space all throughout the day. I kept listening desperately for Jimin's voice, or to at least hear his name being mentioned, but neither of those things happened, making me fear that he really had been lost to the sea.

* * *

It felt like years of worrying, wondering, and playing tug-of-war with my consciousness before two clear voices pulled me back from the deep.

"—can't lose her, Yoongi. I can't go through that pain again." I recognized Hoseok's somber tone and imagined his face clouded over in pain.

"I know," Yoongi was there now too, joining the image of Hoseok behind my eyelids. I pictured him frowning with dark bags under his eyes, based on the stress and tiredness that tainted his voice. "I can't either." Warmth enveloped my hand as his fingers laced through my limp ones, and I felt his breath spread over me as he released a shaky sigh.

"It felt like I was watching it happen all over again. God, this is exactly what I was so afraid of. It's why I tried to push her away," Hoseok's voice cracked with emotion. I wished so much to comfort him and wipe his tears away, but my limbs were plastered to the bed beneath me.

"She has a way of breaking through those walls that we try to put up. We never stood a chance at keeping her distanced from us," Yoongi commented quietly, his thumbs brushing over the top of my hand. "She's like Dawon that way."

"She reminds me so much of her. Both tough, head-strong, stubborn but still loving inside... it was so easy to start caring for her. I used to think that she was some sort of angel sent by Dawon herself, to help fill the void she left," muttered Hoseok quietly.

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