Untold. // Phan

Chapter 19

When I woke up we were in the tent. I don't remember exactly when we came here. The sun had already risen.

Only then I realized that my head was resting on Phil's chest, my arm around his torso. His arm was wrapped around my waist. Carefully, still sleepy, I looked up. Phil was still sleeping. He looked cute with his unmade hair.

His chest rose and fell. I couldn't have woken up better. Holy shit, I was lucky.

Slowly I tried to get up and crawl out of the tent without Phil knowing anything. In fact, I did it with some skilful moves.

I straightened up and stretched.

The sky  was clear, the sun was shining down mercilessly. It was almost... nice? Not a single person was near, only Phil and me. The grass looked greener than yesterday, generally the world looked more beautiful. Were this some weird hormones? I had already forgotten how that feels.

I grabbed the packet of cigarettes and walked a few feet until I sat on the grass. It was light, so I sleepily shut my eyes.

Was that a dream? That couldn't be real.

I lit the cigarette and stared down the field. I could see butterflies, birds, even fucking rabbits.

Someday.

I said that yesterday and I meant it. I couldn't even talk to Addy about it, how am I supposed to tell the whole story to Phil? Something in me wanted him to know, but I didn't want to tell. But who else should do it?

I closed my eyes as I brought the cigarette to my mouth.

Someday.

"Here you are." I heard his voice and opened my eyes. He dropped beside me and smiled at me with narrowed eyes. His hair was in all directions, though it looked as though he had tried several times to tame them.

"Here I am."

He rested his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

"You love to cuddle, right?"

"It's the best thing in the world!" I chuckled and he buried his face even more in my shoulder. "Don't argue with me about it."

"I don't!" I defended myself and stubbed out the cigarette. I put my arm around him and he sighed happily.

"That's nice." he mumbled calmly. I could hear his smile.

"So you weren't drunk yesterday."

"Shut up, Dan!" he playfully hit my shoulder.

"I'm just kidding." He put his head back on my shoulder and I kissed his hair. Whatever this is, I want it. Everything I can get. And I wanted to give him everything I could.

I wanted so fucking much.

"I think we have to pack up the tent."

"Just five minutes." Phil murmured and took my hand.

"Okay, five minutes."

It was more than five minutes.

However, after a while we managed to pack everything together and make our way home. We would repeat that. We would probably repeat that very often. I hoped it.

After we said goodbye and I entered the house, I already began to miss him. That was so cheesy, on so many levels, but that's the way it was.

At home I just told that it was a nice trip. That I felt better now. I didn't say anything about the other one. I didn't mention it to Addy either. Not yet. If everything stays as it is, then I will tell her.

I thought about how it could be if everything went well. I would introduce him to my father, Addy. He would come over for dinner, sleep here. I would sleep at his place. And at least now I noticed that I was a stupid and crazy teenager. But it felt so much better than anything I felt before.

So I admitted it, whether it was a mistake or not.

But Phil is good. Far too good for someone like me, so I wasn't allowed to mess this up. I would do anything to make this work.

And suddenly there was so much I wanted to tell him, but it would be too cheesy. But actually I'm pretty cheesy.

My phone vibrated and I unlocked it.

P: I already miss you. :(

I smiled and felt like shouting into my pillow with happiness.

D: Miss you too.

P: I would come over, wouldn't it be so late.

D: Right, you should go to bed.

P: I'm in bed, idiot.

D: Alone, I hope. ;)

P: SHUT UP!

P: Do you want to come to my place tomorrow and we walk together?

D: Sure. :)

P: Alright! Good night, see you tomorrow.

D: Good night.

And from that moment on, I felt like everything was going to be okay. As if everything was just as it should be. The good and the bad things.
~~~
sounds pretty gay if you ask me.
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