Our Broken World

Chapter 12

We manage to get in a few hours of walking before I need rest. More specifically, my leg needs rest. That's why we make camp under a big tree while the sun is still high up in the sky.

I show the guys the flyer and explain to them exactly what happened when Mikey was taken.

''I couldn't ... I couldn't get to him in time,'' I stutter, but I feel calmer when I say it. Like the worst is already over and it's only gonna get better from now on. At least I hope it will.

''It wasn't your fault, Taya,'' Dylan says seriously, his game face on again. But I know he means it. He wants to comfort me. And to be honest, it's working. I don't feel as terrible as I did before the new Mixed attacked me and made me go crazy for a few minutes. He knew what to say when that happened; he comforted me. It's not your fault, he said. You'll find him, he said. Somehow now, I believe him.

I smile and say to him: ''I know. Besides, we're gonna get him back. Together. I know you didn't want to do this Dylan, but ... you have no idea how grateful I am to all of you for helping me. I don't know if I could've done it without you.''

It's true. This 'mission' will be much much easier with five soldiers by my side to help me.

''You could,'' Says Dylan. I'm not sure if he's saying that because he really thinks I am capable of rescuing Mikey by myself or just because he still doesn't want to come along and this is his way of subtly letting me know.

He looks at me and it seems as though he's struggling to say this next sentence. ''But I guess it's gonna be much simpler with us helping you,'' He finally adds and nods towards me, like he's acknowledging that fact and coming to terms with it.

''You do know that your brother could be dead already, right? There's a good chance that he's gone. In that case, our mission is meaningless,'' Benson points out. I am fully aware of that.

''Come on man, don't crush her hopes,'' Blast says, defending me. But it's not really defending, because what Benson said is just a pure fact. Mikey could be dead already. I'm praying he isn't, though. I don't know what I'll do if he is. My life will be over and ...

Stop! Stop thinking like that, I yell to myself, or more precisely, my head.

I think the others have noticed the turmoil happening within me, because all of them are now staring at me, worriedly. Well, almost all.

Jonah is eyeing me suspiciously and Benson doesn't seem to be worried either. Why would he be? It's not his brother we're trying to rescue.

''It's okay,'' I say to Blast. ''I know the facts. We can't know if he's still alive. But I have to keep going even if he isn't. I have to try. I owe it to him. It's what I need to do, what I'm supposed to do. And even though I'm really grateful to all of you for coming with me, I didn't ask you to do it. If you think it's a lost cause, you don't have to come with me. I'll understand. But I can't give up. I never will.''

I can see Dylan's lips forming into a smile at my determination and devotion. He believes I can do it. Even alone. Actually, I do to, I realize. But it is still amazing to have their help. That is, if I still have it.

''Well, there you go. She's determined to save her brother no matter what. I would rather help her with it, even if it is a lost cause, than wander around this horrible world with nothing useful to do,'' Says Blast.

''Hey, I didn't say we won't help her,'' Benson says defensively and throws up both his hands. ''I'm just stating the facts. I don't want her to get her hopes up. We need to stay realistic here. I want us to be prepared for anything. I want us – her – to know what we might be facing when we get to New York.''