Our Broken World

Chapter 11

After just having proposed me as their new leader, TJ is grinning from ear to ear. Blast agrees with him, but Benson and Jonah are a bit sceptical.

Jonah finally says: ''Fine. I always wanted a hot chick as my leader anyway''

He looks at me slyly and gives me a mischievous smile. But I notice Dylan looking at him angrily, dangerously even.

''Sure, let's go against Ghost, our long-time leader, and follow a teenage girl. Why the hell not? The world out there is mad anyway,'' Says Benson ironically, but in a way it's true. It is a crazy world out there and it calls for crazy measures and crazy actions.

''I'm not a teenager. I'm 20,'' I add, like the fact that he got my age wrong is more concerning than the fact that the world is mad.

TJ gets up and says: ''Well, our new leader, lead the way.''

''Right now?'' I ask, confused. Did they really just officially make me their new leader? Even if they did, I'm still waiting for Dylan to protest harder and tell them to obey him. Only he's as quiet as a mouse on the other side of the room.

When he finally speaks, he says: ''Guys, are you serious? I told you not to do it.''

''Well that sucks for you, because we are gonna do it. You can join us or go your separate way. Your choice,'' Says TJ. I think he knows Dylan will join us if they all decide to go with me. I'm almost a hundred percent sure of that too. He might leave me, an old flame of his, but he won't leave them, his comrades, his brothers.

TJ and Blast both head for the door and Blast says: ''It's a long way to New York. Better get going.''

They leave and Jonah and Benson follow them. Benson turns around and says: ''Sorry, Ghost. I agree with TJ. We do need a mission.''

Then he exits through the door, leaving me and Dylan alone in awkward silence. I turn my gaze to the floor, not wanting to make eye contact with him. But eventually I have to. Eventually I do.

''Sorry about that. I didn't want that to happen,'' I whisper awkwardly. I don't really know why I'm whispering, even though there's no need for that. Maybe because I think it's gonna somehow make the situation better, less painful for Dylan. 

''It's okay,'' he says, completely calm, not a trace of pain or disappointment in his voice. How does he do it? Remain so indifferent all the time.

''They're right. We do need a ... mission. If that is saving your brother, so much better,'' He adds.

''Really? But you were against it,'' I point out while I eye him suspiciously.

''I still am. But I'm not letting all of you go without me and start roaming this world alone. That would be worse,'' He says, looking at me. Does he mean that HE would roam the world alone or that WE would do it, together?

I wonder if he's really still against going with me. It doesn't matter anyway; he doesn't have a choice now.

''Besides ... I do love Mikey like a little brother. I do want to help save him,'' He adds.

Oh, so he's doing this for Mikey, not for me. What did I expect?

''So ... it's got nothing to do with me? You don't need to protect me? Keep me safe from your dangerous comrades?'' I say carefully, but just a little bit ironically, and look at him.

I mean, I don't know what he was afraid of. They all literally just made me their authority. They follow me now, they made that clear. True, Jonah did attack me once. But that was before he knew who I was. And true, he might not be the best of fella, but I think Dylan can keep him in check. Only ... I'm their leader now, so maybe that's my job now. Oh, boy.

The nervousness dissipates when Dylan gives me a genuine smile and laughs. ''I have no idea how you've managed to make them all betray me and follow you. I don't know what's worse: that they'll listen to you now, or that they won't listen to me anymore.'

He says it with irony, but he's serious with the last part. I think he's afraid he won't be able to keep Jonah and maybe Blast in control. He's afraid that the things because of which he didn't want them to go with me, will happen.

''I think they'll still listen to you. You're still their authority figure. I just gave them a purpose. A mission,'' I say.

''Yeah. But that makes you their authority,'' Dylan replies and smiles, like he's not at all hurt by the fact that they just 'betrayed' and 'abandoned' him and are following me now. I think he knows that what I said is true. He's still their authority figure; they'll still listen to him. Maybe we're both their authority now.

''Well, whether you like it or not, looks like you're stuck with me, soldier boy,'' I say. That last part more escapes my mouth. It wasn't really planned. I bite my tongue in embarrassment and I can just feel my cheeks turning red.

Dylan just chuckles and shakes his head. He does let his guard down a little when we're alone. His diplomatic, apathetic expression is gone now. Instead, he's smiling and there's happiness in his eyes.

''I never said I wouldn't like it,'' He remarks seriously, but with a smile plastered on his face, and leaves the room. What?  I'm so confused. So now he does want to go with me? Now he's okay with it? He even likes it? Well, I guess he doesn't have a choice anyway. So right now, it doesn't matter if he actually enjoys coming with me. But the truth is, it matters to me.