𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞 // Dazai Osamu x Psycho Reader

Chapter One // Mission

 ''(Y/N)-Chan, the boss wants you.'' Chuuya claimed, pointing his thumb behind him. ''Oh, okay,'' you said as you put your book down. 

 You walked down the long hallway as you though of Chuuya. You joined the mafia a year after him and he helped you navigate around the place, the rules, and customs, what to expect, etc. You two were forced to spend time together. At first, you didn't like him and he didn't like you, but you became acquaintances, friends, to best friends over time.

 Dazai was in the mafia at the time, too. You never got a chance to talk to him because he always seemed busy and all you knew about him is that he was really good at what he did and he annoyed the hell out of Chuuya.

 You arrived at the boss's office. You knocked three times on the huge doors engraved with beautiful works of what looked like flowers.

 ''Come in!'' You heard a voice ring as you opened the door slightly and walked in, closing the door behind you. ''Ah, (Y/N)-chan! How are you?'' Mori smiled as he rested his head on his palm. Elise was drawing as she crowed around your legs. ''I'm doing good...'' You said as you made eye contact with Mori. ''Well, I have a mission for you (Y/N)-chan,'' Mori said as his smile faded away and went to his serious face. He slid a picture of Dazai closer to you as you approached the desk and grabbed the picture. ''Remember Dazai? Dazai Osamu? Well, I want you to get him to rejoin the mafia. If he refuses, then kill him.'' Mori explained. ''But what if I can't kill him?'' You asked. ''I'm sure you can,'' Mori said, ''If you get close to him and betray his trust.''

 Mori's eyes were filled with pure malice. You glanced at the picture again. ''So you want me to get close to him?'' You asked again. ''Precisely.'' Mori nodded. ''How close? Like, friends? Lovers?'' ''Whichever is fine. Just keep in mind, you're choosing this and it would be unacceptable if you blew your cover.'' Mori stated emotionless. ''Right. When is this assignment due?'' You asked. ''(Y/N)-chan, you of all people should know that missions like this take time.'' He laughed as you gulped. ''Oh, also, while you're doing that, make sure you get information on him and the detective agency.'' Mori smiled. ''Consider it done.'' You said to him as he nodded and smiled. ''That's it, you're excused,'' Mori said as he rested his head on his palm again. You turned around and headed for the door as Elise waved. ''Bye-bye, (Y/N)-chan!''

 You closed the door behind you and leaned against it as you fell to the ground. ''This mission is going to be pure torture!'' You sighed as you buried your face in your hands. Chuuya walked by and started to giggle. ''How'd it go?'' He asked as he sat beside you. You showed him the picture of Dazai and huffed. ''You're stalking him?'' Chuuya asked. ''No, it's my mission! I have to, form a relationship with him..'' You sighed. Chuuya then started laughing hysterically. ''With Dazai?! Good luck!'' Chuuya started wheezing then. ''Haha, very funny. I'm not excited about it given the way you described him.'' You explained.

 ''Yeah, he's a real jerk, but he might treat you differently,'' Chuuya said. You looked at him. ''Knowing him though, he most likely won't.'' ''CHUUYA, YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!'' You said as you pushed him slightly. He just laughed.

~Time Skip~
~Dazai's P.O.V.~

 ''Dazai-san, c-can we go now?'' Atsushi nudged. I took Kunikida and Atsushi to a bar because I was feeling a little feisty. ''I hope you know I'm not paying!'' Kunikida said, sitting there, crossing his arms. ''You two should have a little fun once in a while!'' I said.

 These two men started to fight and started smashing one guy's head on the bar table. ''Can we please leave now?!'' Atsushi asked again. ''Aw c'mon! We just got here, plus, this bar means a lot to me and I thought we could share it together.'' I said. Atsushi and Kunikida both looked at me then at each other. ''This isn't even the bar that means something because I didn't want to run into Chuuya...'' I whispered as I started to whistle put my legs on the table, and arms behind my head. ''WHAT!?'' Atsushi got up and yelled at me as we had a little argument.

We stopped as we looked around. ''Hold on, I'll be back!'' I got up and started walking before Kunikida grabbed my shoulder. "What are you doing?'' He asked. I brushed him off my shoulder. "I'm going to ask her if she wants to commit double suicide with me!" I yelled as Kunikida facepalmed. "Are you really goi-" I ran off before Kunikida could even finish his sentence. "Why do I even bother?" He sighed.

A woman rested her beautiful face on her arm as she tapped a glass full of alcohol. "Hello, ma'am!" I bowed. She looked over me and smiled. "Hey." "I couldn't help but notice something as beautiful as you and that's why I would like to ask-" I got down on one knee as I stroked her palm. "Would you commit a lover's suicide with me?"

She immediately started laughing. "...w-what's so funny?" She didn't answer but she stopped laughing after a while. I sat on the chair beside her as we looked at each other.

"I'm assuming that's your way of asking me out on a date." She said. "No...? I'm asking you if you want to end your life with me."

"So where would you like to go?"

"Off a bridge with you or something."

"A restaurant? Where do you want to eat?" She asked as she began writing things down.

"Hey, speaking of eating, do you want to drink some poison with me?''

"Somewhere fancy... Alright, how's Saturday at 8?"

"No, no, no, I think you're missing the point here..."

"Great! My phone number is also on paper. Can't wait 'till we can hang out!"

"Hang out... Like, hanging ourselves? I-I-I know how to tie a noose-!"

She laughed as she left the bar. I made my way back to Atsushi and Kunikida as they looked at me. "So what did she say?" Kunikida asked. "Uuhhh... Well, she didn't want to die so um, now we're going on a date." I shrugged. "You're going on a date with someone you don't know?! Dazai, you idiot, things like this take time!" I zoned out after a while, but he was rambling for a good bit.

"-And that's why you wait for a date and don't be like Dazai!" Kunikida growled. We were walking back home and I took the lead as Atsushi and Kunikida fell behind. "So we don't turn out like Dazai?" Atsushi asked. "No... But that is good advice. When in doubt, never trust or be like Dazai..."

~Your P.O.V.~

"Great, now I have a date with a suicidal maniac. This mission keeps on getting better and better..."

~✿✿✿~

Word count: 1206