Thursday

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Morning. 6am. Thursday.

Feet, socks, warm floor.
Alarm clock.
6:01 am.
Unplug.
Plug back in.
12:00 am.
Rapid clicking.
6:03 am.

I don't want to do this today.

6:04.
I get back into bed.
6:05.
I close my eyes.
6:09.
Nevermind.
I can't do it.
Shit.

Feet, socks, warm floor.
Bathroom.
25 steps.
Teeth. Routine. Fuck. Hygiene.
Hair. Cleanliness.

I'm so sick of routine.
If I break routine I'll go crazy.
If I continue routine I'll go crazy.
This shit isn't fair.

I eat some three day old pizza.
I smoke my cigarette early.
I don't message Miguel.
I don't check the news.

It's too early. The world isn't awake yet.
It feels like shit to wake up first.
I want to sleep in.

I check my phone.
6:30 am.
Jesus fucking christ.

There is nothing about me that is controversial.

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