Lovebug

María

It took 12 minutes to walk to the bus station. 
we board a bus heading to main street.
7:35.
I've broken routine. 
7:36.
Miguel says his aunt owns a breakfast place where we can get free pancakes.
7:40.
I forgot my phone. 
I haven't left my house without whale song in my ears in 10 months.
I am not panicking. Why aren't I panicking? 
7:43.
A woman and her daughter sit next to us. 
The woman wears a long floral dress.
7:44. 
Miguel checks his phone. 
He says it shouldn't be much longer.
7:45.
Miguel puts his hand on my thigh.
7:50.
It's still there. 
He never asked to touch me. 
Though I'd let him if he did. 

7:52. 
He stands up and gestures for me to follow him. 
I touch my hair out of habit. I cringe. 
Orange. Impulse. Dirty. 
It takes 10 steps to get off the bus. 

"We have to walk a bit, okay?"
"No problem."

Avoid the cracks, I love my mother. 

"what's going on with you?" he asks.
"I wish I could tell you."
"I just want to help you."
"I know you do."
"So tell me what's wrong."
"I don't know what's wrong."
Miguel looks at me, he looks hurt.

It's good to know someone cares.

"Just be here, with me. Okay?"
I say, reaching for his hand.
"Okay."
He's holding my hand now.
It feels so good to be held.

At 8:03 we reach a breakfast place.
He lets go of my hand and walks in.
He walks straight to the front desk.

"Is María here?"
"Yeah, let me go get her."

A curvy woman with long extensions and large gold hoops walks out.
The sound of heels on tile.

"Miguel! It's so nice to see you, mi cariño!"
She walks around the counter and throws Miguel into a hug.
She kisses him on the cheek and leaves a red stain.

I'm silently watching. Awkward.

"Who's your friend? She's cute."
Nice. I'm cute.

"That's Lovebug. I was actually wondering if you could hook us up with some pancakes?"
She doesn't look convinced.
He whispers something in her ear.
"Sure thing, baby."
She smiles and walks to the kitchen.

He turns around to face me.
"See? Easy." He says proudly
"She's really something.." I reply.
"She's got a kind heart and lots of money. Best Auntie a greedy motherfucker could ask for."

He sits down in a booth next to a window.
I sit across from him.
Red leather. Paper place mats.
Sugar. Pepper. Salt.

"I can't stop staring at your hair, Bug."
"Could you try?"
He laughs.
"Yeah, sure."
"Is this going to be expensive to fix?"
"I mean, probably. But don't worry about it. It's a pleasure."
"Thank you, for being so nice to me."
"You're obviously going through a lot right now, the last thing you need is some asshole making fun of you all day."
"And kicking my ass at checkers."
"And kicking your ass at checkers."

8:23.
María places A plate of pancakes in front of me.
"Enjoy, mis amores."
She says.

Fuck, yeah.