Diary Entries - Jade's Prologue

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Matthew 5:5 "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth"

Age: 5

"Daddy, what does this scripture mean?"

"It means that the ones who follow in the steps of the Lord, they will reach paradise. They are the ones that will save us all in the end of days."

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Age: 13

Throughout the years, the word stuck to my mind until I finally had to see what the word meant outside of the bible. 

Meek: Spineless, Weak, Passive

That describes me perfectly. I am weak. I act like I can be this strong-minded person, but I'm battered. I have no way of leaving under the "ownership" of HER. My sister gets to do whatever with whomever. She's still being taken care of as she sits on her butt all day not wanting anything for herself. I don't want to be like either of them. I love them both, but I see myself in a bigger light. I just need someone to allow me to let it shine. 

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Age: 18

I am not meek. I am simply the embodiment of positivity. I am controlled strength. 

I am the sunshine that parts the clouds caused from the shit storm I called my life. 

I was afraid. So afraid. Of people that I should not be afraid of. 

Why the hell was I afraid? 

Psalm 27:1  states that I am to only fear the LORD. 

No man on Earth can hurt me compared to the wrath of the Lord. 

However, I found myself. I found a true family. I found love. 

I love the ones that love me. I stopped being afraid of ones from the past and began to look into the light of my future.

My light is shining. No one needed to allow me to shine it. I just needed assistance in lighting the flame. 

The light burns bright! Brighter than a laser beam. Brighter than the brightest star known to ma. I am the star. I thank the ones that hurt me for teaching me how to burn bright. 

I SHALL inherit the Earth. 

I claim my freedom from the ones that once left me afraid and in chains.

I bind those demons to the underbelly of the fallen angel, Lucifer, himself. 

I am NOT of the demonizing of my soul, unlike my past. 

I let HIM take a piece of it. HE did as well. 

It all started with HER, however. 

I allowed myself to be used and abused all of my life. 

I took all of that back and now ... I am free. 

Psalm 25:9 He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. 

I see the way and welcome it. 


Thank you, Lord.

- Jade Neshai ...

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