The Unexpected

51

"What?" She asks. "Nothing.." I press my lips. She looks away. I kept watching as she takes out her own food. Then she walks sits down also on the gray comfy stool by me.

"Whew I'm starving. Long day at work" she forces out a laugh. "How was work? You guys are wrapping up the year right?" I ask. "Yeah. I even had this thought to write letter to each of the students because I'm just so close with them..just to let them know how much I enjoyed the year with them and whatnot..then I remembered they're only going into 1st grade and can't read that much of what I have to say to them" shes says. "Haha that's true.." "but I did write Veronica something. But since it's a lot..I was wondering whenever you two are free..or if I can take you two for lunch or something and I could read it to her? I don't know. She's at your moms right now. Right?" she says.

I didn't respond. I wiped my bottom lip after taking the bite out of my burger. Then I placed everything down and looked at her. She furrows her brows and I see in her eyes that she's not ready for what I have to say. Because we both know why we're both here tonight. It's the whole reason why she came over.

"yeah she's at my moms."

"Mm"

"Okay..I need to get this off my chest. It's been bugging me for almost two weeks. I cant take it anymore" I said.

"So you're gonna tell me what's been going on?" She asks.

I run my fingers through my hair and looked down at my fingers. I pulled my leg up and placed the bottom on my feet on the chair too, having me hug my right leg bent in front of me.

"You wanna tell me first what your big secret is? Then I'll tell you mine" I said.

"You have another one?" She asks. I press my lips and force a smile at her.

"I'm not ready to Jennifer.."

"Leah.."

"I'm sorry but I can't. I've told you this. It's just something in my past that can't be talked about that easily. I've made mistakes and I feel like I need the right person to explain it all."

"Babe you have me.." I said. With the word 'babe' just automatically slipping out. "I know you don't have any family to come to when you have something going on. I'm probably the only person you can actually come to if you need someone. I've been there for you. When will you ever be ready?" I ask her.

"It's not easy Jennifer. It's not something I'm proud of."

"Leah just tell me. I won't judge you. I'd never judge you for any circumstance. There's always a reason for anything. I'm sure whatever it is, there's a good reason why you did it. Whether you're proud or not. That's what I'm here for. When I started falling for you I wanted to make you the happiest girl. To make sure you were taken care of and treated like a queen that you are. To do everything with you.. I wanna make sure you're always okay and you're obviously not. I'm not either. We both aren't and I wanna fix it because I'm sooo tired of this game we have. Its messy. Ive been wanting to do so much with you but we haven't got to take that next step just because of everything that's in the way. Shit were not even girlfriends any more and that's what breaks me because when you asked me to, i became happier.. You're like my dream girl Lee and I'm trying so hard not to lose that chance... and I know you feel the same way. You don't say it but you show it enough. You're just scared of how I'll react to whatever it is you have to say.."

"As much as I wanna tell you...I hate myself for what it is anyways. I cant ever forgive myself." She says.

"What if..what if you got a second chance for whatever that reason was?"

"I'm pretty sure I won't get a second chance for this situation. Which is why I cant forgive myself for what I did..even though I had to." She says.