euphoria // c.b

xlv. i love you, good bye

the two managed to slip out of the apartment without being noticed by their friends. colby held harlow's hand tightly as he led her to the staircase. colby and harlow had been in the staircase many times, each time hoping the door would be ajar or that someone who could let them up would be there, but there was no such luck. so harlow was pretty excited to finally get to the roof, partly because of nostalgia of their times at the house and partly to just be alone with colby.

colby pulled the key out of his back pocket and unlocked the door, "this feels like a big moment for some reason." colby said laughing as he pushed the door open.

harlow laughed nervously in response as she followed colby through the door. harlow instinctively walked over to the half wall of the ledge and leaned against it. "it's weirdly anticlimactic." harlow stated, looking around at the view before her.

"i honestly get what you mean."

harlow pulled out her pack of smokes from her bag, taking one between her lips and lighting it before passing the pack to colby beside her. they smoked in silence, mostly because harlow didn't really know what to say.

so colby decided to break the silence by asking, "so were you surprised?"

this made harlow laugh. "um, i was surprised by the gesture, for sure. but honestly, i could hear y'all when i was walking down the hall." this made colby frown, so harlow decided to add, "i was still surprised though!"

"good."

"you really didn't need to do this for me," she said, holding her smoke between her fingers.

colby looked at the brunette with a smirk. "well i know i didn't need to, but i wanted to." harlow just nodded, taking the smoke back to her lips. her lack of response led colby to continue talking, suddenly unsure of his gesture. "did you not want me to do this?"

she wasn't really sure what to say, because as much as she appreciated what colby was doing for her, harlow would've rathered if it were just her and colby. that way, she would be able to recite her speech without feeling the guilt that was currently sat in the pit of her stomach. how was she supposed to break things off with colby after he just threw a surprise party for her?

so she just shrugged in response, taking one final drag of her smoke before flicking it out.

she peeked a glance at colby, who was staring at her with a mixture of hurt and embarrassment written on his face. "oh. i'm sorry."

harlow felt even more guilty now than she did earlier because her response was hurting the boy that she loved. if only he knew what else was coming.

"don't apologize colbs." harlow said quietly, placing a hand on colby's forearm in an attempt to soften her response.

"why do you not like it? i invited all of our friends and everything." his question was innocent - he just wanted to know what was going on inside of harlow's mind. but harlow wasn't ready to share that.

harlow wanted to shrink into a corner and avoid answering the question indefinitely. "it's complicated." she paused, debating on whether she wanted to expand on it. but there was a group of about twenty people downstairs who were there to celebrate her all because of colby, so it wasn't really the right time. "we'll talk about it later,"

colby shook his head, not moving as harlow lifted her hand off the boy's arm to walk back into the complex. "or we could talk about it now." colby suggested, turning around so that he was facing the girl.

harlow shifted her weight from foot to foot, debating what she should do. "colby, there's people in your apartment right now. i think we should get back."