Through the Dark // S.S. [Book One]

Chapter 23

Stiles laces up his lacrosse stick in silence. Why we're together in the counselor's office, I have no idea. Stiles finally looks up at Ms. Morrell. "You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's--it's actually kind of peaceful."

Ms. Morrell gives Stiles a questioning look. "Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?"

I shake my head. "I have no sympathy for him."

"He held a gun to Megara, so no, I don't feel sorry for him."

"Can you feel sorry for the nine-year-old Matt who drowned?" Ms. Morrell asks.

Stiles narrows his eyes. "Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one. And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on Matt's computer. And not just of her though. I mean, he photoshopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing. You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was definitely riding the crazy train."

Ms. Morrell smiles. "One positive thing came out of this, though. Right?"

"If you count us all being alive, sure. I mean, Scott and I could have died, but thank the gods we didn't."

Stiles nods as he takes my hand. Surprisingly, but not surprisingly, I don't shy away. "Yeah. Yeah, but I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know. It's just like tension when we talk. Same thing with Scott."

"Have you talked to him since last night?"

"He's got his own problems. I'm sort of avoiding going to his place because of what his mom saw. A sixteen year old girl holding a Celestial Bronze sword isn't exactly a normal sight. And I probably shocked her by angrily telling Jackson off in Greek. I'm not even sure Scott's mom knew I even spoke Greek."

Stiles grips my hand tighter as my leg gets a mind of its own. "I don't think he's talked to Allison either. But that might be more her choice, you know. Her mom dying hit her pretty hard. But I guess it brought her and her dad closer. Jackson? Jackson hasn't really been himself lately. Actually the funny thing is, as of right now, Lydia is the one who seems the most normal."

"And what about you, Stiles? Feeling some anxiety about that championship game tomorrow night? Megara? How about losing a classmate of yours?"

"He was a murderer. I feel no sympathy." I retort as I dig my nails into my hands.

Meanwhile, Stiles narrows his eyes slightly. "Why would you ask us that? Ah. Uh, no. I--I never actually play. But hey, since one of my teammates is dead and another one's missing, who knows, right?"

"You mean, Isaac." Ms. Morrell recalls. "One of the three runaways. You haven't heard from any of them, have you?"

"No. Where are your notes?" I ask.

Stiles gives a sharp nod. "Yeah, how come you're not taking any notes on this?"

Ms. Morrell smiles. "I do my notes after the session."

Stiles scoffs. "Your memory's that good?"

"How about we get back to you? Stiles?"

"I'm fine. We're fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen."