Fighting Fire

Chapter 3: Lillianna

Chapter 3

What happened to Conner still has me in shock. How dare someone target us when all we want to do is save lives? What will happen the next time I enter a burning building, I probably will think twice before entering another burning building. Firefighters help people and save lives. Instead of saving lives I'm being targeted by a lunatic.

I was responsible for Conner and now he's gone. As I watched them lower Conner's body into the ground I couldn't help but feel guilty. I was responsible for his death. We're partners yet I wasn't there when he died. We should have never split up. I wish I could go back and change it all.

How could I get pass this ordeal. The memory of Conner's death hunts. The thought of going into another burning building or house terrifies me.

I know being a firefighter is dangerous and there is a possibility of death but no one said anything about someone purposely trying to kill us. We're firefighters not cops. We are not harming anyone or locking people up. All we do is save lives. This whole ordeal has been traumatizing, so traumatizing I'm scared to go to work. It's been almost a week since I step foot in the firehouse. From Trent I learned the detectives were at the station questioning everyone. Not many people knew anything because I was the only one who saw all the traps. I'm surprised no one has questioned me further.

I just don't understand why someone would do this to us.

I just keep thinking what will they do next, set the station on fire. Or kill us all in the privacy of our own homes. I can't sleep at night and more than anything I just wish Conner was here. He would know what to do or say. He would know how to calm me down.

At the grave site his younger sister, Jamie came up to me. Jamie needed no introduction because I could already tell she was Conner's younger sister. She was the spitting image of Conner.

"You must be Lillianna," Jamie said.

She was gorgeous. Long blond hair, pretty blue eyes just like Conner, plumb lips, and a nice slim figure to go with her short frame. I heard a lot about Jamie from Conner. Conner adored his baby sister, whom seemed to get into a lot of trouble. Conner and I had a good relationship so he talked about his sister often. Conner wanted her to go to college but Jamie was caught up in the modeling world. I could see why she fit into that world. She looked like she walked right off of a magazine cover.

"Yea I am." She gave me a hug before I could get out anything else. "I'm so sorry about Conner." I said as he released her hold on me.

"I am too. I keep thinking this is all just a dream." Me too. I keep hoping I'll wake up from my nightmare and Conner would still be alive. "I want to tell you something."

"Ok."

"My brother was in love with you." I had no reaction to her comment. "He talked about you a lot. I kept telling him to ask you out but he was always so shy. I just thought you should know Conner cared about you a lot and I think he would have wanted you to know."

She gave me one last hug then walked away.

I always knew Conner had some type of feelings for me but I didn't know they went that deep. I'm so sad he wasted his time on me because I was and probably never would have been the girl for him. I'm going to be single for the rest of my life and it's not a life style I decided on. It's just my destiny. I have never had a boyfriend and for good reason. Marriage and kids is not my thing. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

I have to confess, it did make my heart skip a beat to know he loved me in that way. It also made cry harder. Now that Conner's dead I wish I had the opportunity to go on a date with him. I know I'm content with being single but I can't help but feel I also missed a great opportunity. Conner's the only man besides my brothers who knew me fully and who I could be honest with. Maybe there could have been something between us but it was too late now. Not knowing hurt the most.