Chapter 2: Lillianna
“So are you going to tell me about Sonny or not,” Trina pushed as we sat at the center island eating bagels.
For now Sonny and I are just friends. We hang out a lot but we are strictly friends. We haven’t kissed in over a week and that was when I started back as a firefighter. Trina calls him my rebound from Skyy. Maybe he is but I don’t look at it that way.
“I swear we are just friends Trina,” I informed her.
“Are you still avoiding the family?” She questioned.
I haven’t talked to anyway one in the family besides Trent. Keith is barely around. I don’t really feel like talking to my sisters or Kent. Kent knew Kyle was leaving but failed to mention it to me. I thought family looked out for each other. Apparently I was wrong. For now I want nothing to do with Kent.
“I will deal with them later.”
“Are you going to eat your bagel?” Trina questioned.
“No my stomach still hurts.”
“You still can’t keep anything down?” Trina questioned.
“Yea I was on the toilet for hours last night.”
“Yea I don’t need to know that,” Trina joked as the door bell rung.
Before I could move or say anything Trina took my bagel and made a b-line for the basement steps. She was up to something but I couldn’t tell what it was yet. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the door. I looked out the window to find Pam standing there. Now I know what Trina was up too. She knew Pam was coming over and decided not to tell me. That was so like her.
I unlocked and cracked the door so Pam could let herself in. I returned to the kitchen island without so much as word to Pam. I really had nothing to say to her. I was probably acting childish but she basically assaulted me for no reason at all. She took her husband’s word over mines. I feel like the first words out of her mouth should be an apology. I’ve done nothing to her and she’s been on my case since we were kids.
I stared at my empty plate while Pam stood in front of me. I got a glimpse of her and she looked like hell. It looked like she hadn’t brush her hair in weeks. Her eyes were red and puffy. I could tell she hadn’t been getting sleep.
“I’m not perfect,” Pam explained. “I’m sorry I attacked you.”
“Pam it’s not just that. You have always treated me like the step child.” I cut in.
“I was jealous of you,” she blurted out causing me to raise my eyebrows.
Pam jealous of me is a shock. I don’t get why she would be jealous of me. Pam has always been well put together until Blake came along.
“Why?”
“It started when we were younger. Mom always took you place with her. She always brought you stuff. She was always there for you and I hated that she was never there for me.”
I let out a chuckle. Nothing was funny clearly but my mother could still destroy this family even from the grave. I would love to hate her but she’s my mother and you only get one.
“To you it sounds crazy but if mom could have paid just a little attention to me. Even when Dre was born it was always about you and I know it’s wrong for me to take out my anger on you but she’s not alive for me to take it out on her.”
“Pam mom was always doing things for me because she felt guilty.” Pam looked at me as she waited for my response.
I never felt the need to talk about what happened to me when I was 7. I never wanted to talk about. I never thought I would tell my family. I thought I would take this secret to my grave. But there was this big part of me that felt the need to tell Pam why our mother was always doing things for me. I was tired of letting what happened to me at 7 control my life. It was time to come clean. Keeping it all bottled in hasn’t really helped me. If I don’t come clean I’m sure Kent would and I rather Pam hear it from me.
“One of mom’s male callers entered my room when I was 7 and he didn’t want to say hi or play Barbie’s. Mom knew about it so she did everything she could to make it up to me,” I explained.
I didn’t need to go into any details. I could tell by the look in Pam’s eyes that she understood what I was trying to say.
“O lilly.” Pam said softly as tears fell from her eyes. “I had no idea.”
Before I could respond Pam wrapped me up in her arms. Never has Pam hugged me in this way. It made me sob. It felt nice to have my sister wrap me in her arms. I’ve never really been close to Pam but I’ve always wanted to.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Pam said as she held me close to her breast rocking me back and forth. “God I’m so sorry Lilly.”
“I’m fine. Forget about it,” I said once we pulled away. “Are you and Dre fighting?” I questioned.
Last I heard was Pam slapped Dre across the face.
“I’m so anger that she could betray me in that way but then again she did me a favorite. I don’t know why I stayed with Blake as long as I have. He cheats on my consistently. I didn’t think I could get better than him. So I put up with the cheating. I realize I know nothing about Blake. I don’t know anything about his family or his past. I have three kids with this man. How could I be so stupid? What kills me about Dre is she could care less about my feelings. She’s just trying to get Derrick back. He wants nothing to do with her.”
“Pam you were so strong before you got with Blake you will do just fine without him.”
“The audacity of him to try to win me back. He had sex with my sister and fathered her child possibly. There is no coming back from that. I’ve already talked to a lawyer. It’s time to get me back.” I gave Pam a big hug. I was so proud of her. “Eventually you’re going to have to talk to Tatyana.” I nodded me head. “Let’s go out for brunch.”
“Let’s go shopping instead I can’t really keep anything down.”
“I hope you’re not pregnant,” she blurted out as I grabbed for my jacket.
“Why would you say that,” I practically yelled.
“I was just joking,” Pam added staring me down. “Are you pregnant?” she questioned.
“No I’m not!”
“I was just asking. I heard you had a one night stand with that good looking firefighter.”
“Where did you hear that!” I yelled. “You would think we lived in a small town.”
“I heard it from Blake in his ploy to win me back but it really was him just bashing you.”
“Asshole,” I cut in.
“Anyway we can talk about it if you want to.”
I did not want to talk about my night with Sonny. It was such an embarrassing night. I was literally all over him. Grated I was a drunk but I still made a fool out of myself. Then when I sobered up I still kissed him and dropped my clothes in front of him. It was pathetic and I totally made a fool out of myself. I’m just glad Sonny is an understanding person.
“I rather not,” I informer her as I pulled her off the stool.
“Kent told me about the detective too. He’s a real asshole and you deserve better,” Pam informed me as we exited my house.
“You know how bout we go to a bar for some drinks. I really think we both could use a drink.”
“I like the sound of that,” Pam praised.
YOU ARE READING
Fighting Fire
RomanceLillianna: All I could think about was what happened in he's office. He kissed me and I didn't freak out. I actually enjoyed it. I wanted him to kiss me again and again. I was confused by the emotions I was feeling. Guys don't fall for me and when t...
