Fighting Fire

Chapter 1: Lillianna

A/N: this is the start of book two. I hope you like.

Chapter 1: Lillianna

        “Ms. Hoffman you officially start back working as a firefighter today. How do you feel about that,” Doctor Hartman asked me.

        I’m not going to lie therapy has been helpful these last 6 weeks. However, I tend to hate when Jill Hartman, my therapist ask how are you feeling. I get it, she’s trying to help me but she can be very annoying with the repetition of questions. Like seriously! She asks every week how do you feel about returning to your firefighting duties. I’m always like I’m ready. It maybe a little scary but I’m ready.

        Jill Hartman has got me through these pass six weeks and my near mental break down moment after Kyle Skyy left. That man shattered my whole world literally. He’s the first man I have even been with romantically. I trusted him fully. He chewed me up and spit me out. It was good while it lasted and I’ve learned only time will mend my broken heart.

        “If you’re wondering if I’m scared the answer is not anymore. I’m ready to return.”

        Okay so I was lying, I just wanted her to shut up and sign my documents. I like Jill Hartman but that does not mean I want to be best friends with her.

        “I heard you got a promotion?” Dr. Hartman asked.

        “Captain promoted me to lieutenant. The first female lieutenant at the house. It’s an honor however I turned him down.” I explained.

        Yea I know I have to be out of my mind to turn down a promotion but I’m just not ready to run anything. I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment. I will be acting as lieutenant for the week until the captain appoints someone else. I think the captain hopes I’ll enjoy my new position and take it over permanently but I highly doubt that.

        “I think this promotion is just too soon for me,” I informed her.

        “I’m glad you can realize what’s too much and what’s not.”

        We continued to talk more about my promotion then we moved onto to Kyle Syy. I can’t say I’m not still heartbroken because I am. The first man I trusted fully and loved romantically, he hurts me this bad. I don’t hate him and I’m not even angry with him anymore. I think Kyle Skyy has some issues he needs to work through. He shouldn’t have been in a relationship in the first place. I wish him well and I hope he gets the help he needs.

        After my hour session with the good doctor I went straight to the fire station. The first person I spotted was Sonny leaning up against the truck. I could tell he was waiting for me. I made a big mistake by going home with Sonny the night after I found out Skyy left. I was hurt and sad. Deep down I wanted to hurt Skyy so I did the unthinkable. I just went to the bar to be alone and who do find, Sonny. Shit happens and I was wasted.

        “Hey,” I said lowly as I approached him.

        “Look I know you’re avoiding me.” I tried to avoid his eyes as he talked. “I know you’re hurting or was hurting. I’m just really trying to be a friend.” He put his index finger under my chin and left my head so my eyes could meet his eyes. “I have feelings for you clearly and you may have some feelings for me too. You did come home with me that night. You kissed me and you started to remove articles of clothes first. I’m not trying force anything on you but know I am patiently waiting. For now I’ll settle for friends.”

        Sonny is an all-around nice guy. I’m such a jerk for leading him. I think I really needed a rebound at the time to get over my feelings for Skyy. Clearly that didn’t help. I’m starting to think maybe Skyy was just a person to open my eyes to the possibility of love. I did kiss Sonny without freaking out. I undressed myself in front of him. I let him grab my ass. That has to say a lot right.

        I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the lips.

        “I’m not ready for a serious relationship but someday I would like to see what we have,” I informed him after I pulled away.

        Sonny grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into in. “You’re so beautiful,” was what he said to me before he covered my lips with his. I didn’t resist or pull away. I allowed my lips to move with his. Once we pulled away he simply said, “I’ll be waiting. Take as much time as you need.” He turned and walked away before I could say anything.

        I’m not sure what I feel for Sonny. I find him attractive that’s for sure. He’s built like a body builder. Muscles everywhere, I’ve seen him naked it’s a pretty sight. He’s a little short for my liking but his flawless brown skin makes up for it and his juicy lips.

         But my emotions are all over the place so I’m not sure if I truly like him or I’m using him to get over Skyy. Only time will tell.