Cholesterol: So, like, if I study every year for my entire childhood, I have to get into school, right?
Cholesterol: Like, I know I only have 45% smarts, but people dumber than I have gotten into college
Cholesterol: I DIDN'T GET INTO COLLEGE
Cholesterol: That's it, I'm going to become a stripper
Cholesterol: THEY DIDN'T HIRE ME
Cholesterol: How am I supposed to provide for my boa constrictor?!
Cholesterol: It already doesn't like me all that much
Cholesterol: MY BOA CONSTRICTOR DIED BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND FORGOT TO FEED IT
Cholesterol: I AM SO DONE WITH THIS
Cholesterol: I'M GOING TO STEAL A CAR
Cholesterol: I GOT ARRESTED
Cholesterol: I'm going to hire the best lawyers to defend me
Cholesterol: Wait I can't afford that nonsense
Cholesterol: Where's Nelson and Murdock when you need them
Cholesterol: I guess I'll just settle for a public defender
Cholesterol: I'VE BEEN FOUND GUILTY AND SENT TO A MINIMUM SECURITY PRISON
Cholesterol: THIS IS NOT OKAY
Cholesterol: Maybe if I suck up to the coolest kids in prison they'll protect me
Cholesterol: Okay, so my street cred is now trash
Cholesterol: I'll beat up Crazy Eyes and maybe that'll make me cool
Cholesterol: Okay, so I am slightly cooler
Cholesterol: I'm gonna join a gang
Cholesterol: They said no
Cholesterol: I'm going to up my street cred by beating someone else up and then try joining the gang again
Cholesterol: They said no again!
Cholesterol: On a different note, every time I mean to Crazy Eyes she likes me more and more and I'm getting uncomfortable
Cholesterol: I'm going to try to break out
Cholesterol: Okay, so that didn't work
Cholesterol: THEY'RE MOVING ME TO A MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON
Cholesterol: I DON'T WANNA GO
Cholesterol: I joined the most notorious gang in prison
Cholesterol: I am one of them
Cholesterol: We got in a fight with our rival gang, The Golden Girls
Cholesterol: I'M FREE!!!!!!!
Cholesterol: I'm going to the club!!!!!!!
Cholesterol: I met a guy named Caleb Winchester at the club
Cholesterol: We're dating!
Cholesterol: I'm $40,000 in debt because I forgot to get a job!
Cholesterol: I hope Caleb has money
Cholesterol: CALEB ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM
Cholesterol: AND I GOT A JOB AS A BARTENDER
Cholesterol: We're getting married at a Winery and we're going to Venice for our honeymoon
Cholesterol: I'M PREGNANT
Cholesterol: I AM LITERALLY 47 YEARS OLD
Cholesterol: I HAD FREAKING TRIPLETS
Cholesterol: I'm going to name them after Natasha Romanoff, Lily Evans, and Annabeth Chase.
Cholesterol: Oh my God
Cholesterol: NATASHA DIED WHILE TEXTING AND DRIVING
Cholesterol: SHE WAS TWO
Cholesterol: That's it, I'm committing a crime
Cholesterol: So, I got arrested for murder
Cholesterol: My gang has welcomed me back with open arms
Cholesterol: Crazy Eyes is nowhere to be found though
Cholesterol: I DIED
Cholesterol: OF A HEROIN OVERDOSE
Cholesterol: Lily was the only one who came to my funeral
Cholesterol: This sucks
Light of my Life: Chloe, from the bottom of my heart, what the fuck?
YOU ARE READING
The Group Chat
Teen FictionThis story is based off of actual conversations my friends and I have in our group chat. It all started with a simple crush. Maybe this all would have been avoided if said crush wasn't sitting at the same table as me and all the friends I wanted to...
