Dreamland

breathless

If someone would of told me a year ago that I would be in this position that I am right now I would have laughed in your face.

Like I honeslty want to laugh.

I feel like my whole life is a fucking joke.

I put in time and energy into people who seem like they don't care.

Not just friends but family as well. And I know it sounds dramatic but that's just my feelings.

It's quite exhausting if I'm being honest.

I felt something today that I haven't felt in awhile.

Comfortable. That's what it was. Comfortable...

I'm scared.

I'm scared to be in this position again.

And I can't tell if it's a good scare, or a bad one.

My mother always told me to trust my gut.

And right now my gut is hiding away and not telling me shit.

I'm just confused on life right now.

Everything in my life feels confusing.

And I really don't want to pity myself.

But I can't help it.

People have worse problems than me. And I don't want to put my problems on people who don't care and who have other things going on.

So I come here and let out my feelings.

Because I don't want to be a burden.

So I'll burden my own mind. To fill a void that no one can really fix or help.

And that's okay.

It really is.

I'm not asking for anything.

I don't want anything.

And I'm starting to feel okay again.

I think.