Dreamland

night changes

It's really hard to address a situation that you know can cause more damage by talking about it...

Sometimes I just want to keep my mouth shut and pretend that everything is okay and that I live a happy life.

But that's not true... I know so many secrets that I've been hiding for so long. People, more like family, think it's okay to bombard me with information about other family members and think everything will be normal, and that they just didn't tell me the most horrific thing ever.

I had to make a decision yesterday... a really hard one might I add.

It was a decision that needed to be decided then and there or I might not of had the confidence to bring it up ever again.

I had to wipe the tears that were falling and unlock my bathroom door and walk in the kitchen and confront my dad on the same thing I've talked to him about before.

He's a cheater... a fucking cheater. He has an emotional connection with another women who isn't his girlfriend.

I was shaking like a leaf when talking to him... his 16 year old daughter should not be dealing with this.

But this is happening... this is reality and as much as we hate it, we have to face it. Because I can't be stuck anymore.

I've lived a life where I don't care where I'm going or where I end up. But I need to face reality...

That not all people are good, and not all parents are people we should look up to.

We are all human, we all make mistakes. We are all sad and lonely.

But that still doesn't give us the excuse for doing certain things like cheating.

I told him he needs to make a decision or I'm leaving. I know it's his life but that doesn't mean I can stay and watch the trainwreck he is making out of his life. It's really really hard to deal with and I can't take it anymore.

We all make decisions that aren't good sometimes. But we all have the opportunity to change that, for those second chances.

I just hope he realizes that his life doesn't have to be sad. I want him to experience his life with peace and joy...

Maybe he's gonna have to find that by himself, I don't know...

Maybe we all have to find our peace by being by ourselves... who knows