The Scholarship

THE ESSAYS-Chapter Eight

Contestant #4: Naomi King

When I was ten years old, I had never watched television, gotten a hair cut, or ridden in a car.

 Growing up in the Old Order Amish community of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, there were a lot of things I never did because it wasn't part of our Amish way of life. We live simple lives. Everything is black and white according to our faith; either something is acceptable or it is not. There are no exceptions.

Sometimes people I meet tell me they feel sorry for me, but I never felt deprived by not experiencing these things because I never had experienced them. It's a little like that saying about not missing what you never had. That was me. I was a typical ten year old who loved to bug my older siblings, play with my dolls, and avoid doing my homework. Until one day when my whole world changed.

I hadn't felt well for a couple days, and I was home from school with a fever and a nasty cough. My parents were out working on our farm, and all my siblings were at school except for my sister, Sarah, who was six months into her rumspringa. Sarah was a bit wilder than most of the other girls in our community. 

 I remember most of her friends still wore the traditional Amish plain clothing and still lived at home, but Sarah embraced every piece of English living. She wore English clothes and lived in a house with girls and boys. I didn't understand a lot of what that meant, but I heard my older siblings talk about her in hushed tones at night.

The day I had the house to myself Sarah stopped by to get something from the closet in the room where I slept. I woke up as soon as she entered the house because she had brought someone with her, and they were talking loudly. 

 Suddenly, I heard the most wondrous sound that had ever filled my ears; I heard music for the first time. Sarah and her friend burst into the room and both screamed when I bolted up in bed.

"Naomi!" My sister yelled, but then she started laughing. She introduced me to her friend, Derek, who had this strange dark skin I'd never seen, but I barely noticed because I needed to know what that sound was. My sister had a small toy in her hand, and she placed it in my lap. 

 "This is a cellphone, Naomi. You can talk to people far away and listen to music. Why don't you hold this for me while I grab what I came to get?"

To this day, I have no memory of what my sister had to get from the closet, but I remember our conversation like it was yesterday.

"I like this music!" I told her. "It's my favorite color!" My sister and Derek laughed, thinking I must not have understood what she meant by the word "music."

"No, Naomi!" Sarah said. "The music is what you're hearing right now. This is Ne-Yo." I nodded vigorously.

"Well, Ne-Yo is very purple!" I said. Derek looked at me and then at Sarah.

"Is your sister retarded?" He asked.

"Shut up, Derek!" Sarah snapped. I was about to ask what that word meant, but then different music started playing.

"This music is red!" I closed my eyes and watched the different shades flash through my mind. Derek and Sarah just stood there watching me. I rocked back and forth and even hummed with the end of the song. "That one was really pretty," I told them. Sarah snatched the phone out of my hands and turned the music off.

"You can't tell Mama or Papa about this, Naomi!" Sarah told me. "They would be very angry with me if they knew I let you listen to music."

"Why?" I couldn't understand why something so wonderful was forbidden.

"Because it goes against the spirit of Glassenheit and stirs up emotions."

I knew what that meant. Humility was taught to us at a young age, and I knew I could never tell my parents what had happened that day.

Two years later, my sister joined the church and was baptized. We never spoke about that day, but in the quiet of the barn while doing my chores, I sometimes would sing quietly to myself, "I set fire to the rain," and watch the red flash before my eyes.

When I was thirteen, I finished eighth grade, and school was over for me. It was time to concentrate on learning how to one day be a good wife and mother. I did well making quilts and perfecting culinary dishes of meat and potatoes, but there was always the desire in the back of my mind to find music again.

I had my chance when I turned 16 and started rumspringa. I knew I couldn't do what I wanted to do while living under my parents' roof, so I went to live with my brother, David, who was also on rumspringa and living off the farm. My only goal during rumspringa was to learn how to make music, so I could always have it in my life. I figured I'd deal with the fact that it was forbidden in our community later.

I remember the first time I stepped inside a music store. My senses felt overwhelmed, and I actually started crying. I'm sure I was quite a sight—a sixteen year old Amish girl in her plain dress standing there amidst the guitars and drums with tears falling down her face. It was the happiest moment of my life. That was also the day I found out I had synesthesia, a rare condition where my senses get all tangled up with each other. It's the reason I can see colors when I hear music.

That was six months ago. 

 Every day since then I've been using my time to teach myself how to read music. My brother's friend showed me the wonders of the internet, and I've been completely obsessed with YouTube and trying to find out everything I can about synesthesia. I've also been studying for my GED. I want to go to college. I want to major in music and learn how to play every instrument I can get my hands on!

Unfortunately, the state of Pennsylvania will not allow me to take the test for a GED or a High School Equivalency Test (HiSET) until I am 18. Through some research, I have found that they do make exceptions. If I am awarded this scholarship, I can get a letter from a college saying I have to have my GED or HiSET to enroll. If I cannot get into college, my only other option will be to return to the church and give up music forever.

I know I don't technically meet all of the requirements for this scholarship. I am not a junior in high school. My recommendations don't come from teachers but from the adults I've met through the music store. I have no high school transcripts. I am a simple Amish girl with an eighth grade education and a unique perspective on music.

 My number one desire is to live in a world bursting with color because I don't know how I could ever return to a life that's black and white.