Good Omens Oneshots

Kicked an Angel: Part 2 [Gabriel X Reader]

"So you're an angel?" you said for what seemed to be the millionth time. The angel was simply ignoring you while you tried to get your mind to wrap around what had just happened. He looked around at the café you were sitting in to keep himself busy. "And I kicked you. I kicked an angel." You laughed nervously and ran a hand through your hair. "I am so going to Hell. Like, I used to joke about it, 'cause that's what I've always been told. Ah, you're queer? You're going to Hell. But now Hell is real. And I kicked you. Oh shit."

"Wait, why would you go to Hell for being queer?" Gabriel asked. His eyebrows furrowed together and his eyes narrowed out of confusion.

It was your turn to look at him out of confusion. "You're almost never on Earth, are you?"

"Well, no. But what's wrong with being queer?"

"Nothing!" you exclaimed and threw your hands into the air. "Thank you! Nothing is wrong with it. It's not like I woke up one morning and was like, gee, let's make my life harder. People don't realize that and it's just so...Frustrating! So after a while, I just stopped caring about what happened in the afterlife. If I was going to go to Hell for something I had no control over, then I'd rather be there than Heaven!" You paused and took a deep breath after having forgotten to breathe. "But now it seems like that was stupid of me."

Gabriel watched you with curiosity. Him being an angel, he knew the general projection of where a soul would go to in the afterlife; Heaven, Hell, or just the spirit realm. He didn't see your soul on its way to Hell anytime soon, not unless some demon managed to tempt you. But if he had anything to do with it, that wouldn't happen.

"Anyways," you spoke. "I'm sorry I kicked you. But you were still being a huge jerk to him, angel or not."

His left eye twitched. "He went against the divine plan."

"The divine plan to kill all life on Earth," you pointed out. "Sorry, you're not getting my sympathy. I'm a part of that life. Besides, doesn't it say something if both Heaven and Hell wanted to bring about the end of the world? Like, what's the point? It seems pretty selfish and pretty evil to me."

"We're angels, we can't be evil!"

"Says who?"

"The...Everything!"

"Then, why did some of the angels fall? Weren't they supposed to be evil or something?"

"That's different."

"How?" you asked, but didn't expect an actual answer form him. "I bet Heaven and Hell conspire with each other just to make sure you get to have your pissing war."

Gabriel froze. The back channels that didn't exist.

You groaned and hit your head on the table you were sitting at. "Is Heaven even like...good? Like, are we just put on this planet to suffer through life and then, surprise, life sucks in the after-life."

"Of course it's good!"

You turned your head and glared up at him. "You just said angels can't be evil, I don't believe you." Finally, you moved to sit up in your chair and stared up at the ceiling. "Besides, I don't even know if good and evil are a real thing. Like sure, there's stuff you should do and stuff you shouldn't do. You should be kind to others and you shouldn't kill people, but is there something that's just pure good or pure evil? There's also order versus chaos. People like to say that chaos is evil, but it's really not. It's just...It just is."

Gabriel thought for a moment. Angels were definitely the definition of order while demons were chaos. He remembers when the demons fell. He didn't question it, because that's what God had said. But did they deserve it. He remembered some were trying to hear out both sides in the conflict, but the ones that acted as mediators fell. The ones that asked questions fell. Was that necessarily evil? He was starting to sound like Aziraphale.

"I probably sound stupid to you," you noted.

"No," Gabriel said though he wasn't so sure of himself. "Where did you get these ideas?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did you start thinking this?" he asked desperately. He needed to know more. He needed to find out what exactly was going on.

"Uh...Books? Life? I don't know," you sighed. "I just. I like thinking, I guess? I get angry and ask why things the way they are. I get mad at people a lot, so I try to figure out what makes them the way they are. I uh...studied a bit of psychology at university. Wasn't my major, but I took some upper-level courses."

"Psychology?" Gabriel asked, not familiar with it.

"It's the study of the mind and how it works," you chirped. "The mind is kind of what makes a person who they are. Or well...How does it work with souls? Maybe the mind is the soul." You groaned as you started to make yourself confused with the whole soul business and how that made things work.

"So you're familiar with how people work?"

"I mean, I guess? I don't think anyone alive knows how people work, we just guess," you revealed.

"Teach me," Gabriel said. He didn't leave room for argument. You raised your eyebrows and looked at him with mild shock.

"Uh, why?"

"I need to know what makes you think the way you think. I need to know what is good and what is evil."