Soundtrack (Scomiche)

10: See Through (Part 4)

"All I've kept within lay before your eyes."

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July 25. 11:30 PM.

I am in Scott's room, on his bed, by his side. This is my new favorite place. He fell asleep about an hour and a half ago. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep hence I'm writing on my iPad mini.

Dinner was fun. He brought home groceries and attempted to cook something for me. I probably shouldn't have stayed in the kitchen, though. I swear I just wanted to watch him. But then I hugged him from behind, he hugged my arms, he turned around, we kissed, we kissed some more, we kissed A LOT, and then we smelled burning food. So we ended up with delivered pizza for dinner, which, by the way, went perfectly with chardonnay.

We were eating dinner on the couch with his legs resting on my lap.

"Hey, Jane," I said, putting down my half-eaten slice on a plate beside me.

"Yes, Sandra?" He asked, smiling. He really looked very happy.

"Shouldn't we talk about... you know... things."

"Why do I feel like you're breaking up with me?" he replied, pouting. He moved closer to me, his knees coming up the level of my shoulders.

"Come on, you know what I mean." I rested my hands on his knees, my cheek on the back of my palm, and looked at him.

"Do we absolutely have to? Right now?" He leaned in. "Isn't this..." Kiss. "More..." Kiss. "Fun?" Kiss.

His kisses are starting to become addicting. I closed my eyes because if I saw how cute he looked, I would've given in. "I know what you're doing. And it's working. But we need to, Scott. You know we need to." I opened my eyes.

"Fine, fine." He moved his legs away from me and planted his feet on the ground. He put his arm around my waist. "This okay?"

Every fiber in my being wanted to jump at Scott and kiss him and do... other things to him. But I wanted to get "the talk" out of the way. I couldn't fully enjoy whatever I had with Scott if I still had so many questions in my head. "Yes." I sighed. I mirrored what he did and put my arm around his waist. I rested my head on his shoulder and stared at the TV, which wasn't even turned on. I figured it would be easier to talk if I didn't have to look at him. "No distracting me until we're done talking."

"Okay." THEN HE TICKLED ME. He fucking said okay but he tickled me.

"SCOTT!!!" I tried to get off the touch but he was faster at grabbing me, keeping me in place. "You're making this impossible!" I looked at him and saw that he had this adorable, playful smile. It was hard, but I managed to keep a straight face.

He must have seen how serious I was (or at least how serious I was pretending to be) so he wiped his smile off his face and tried to look serious, too. "I'm sorry." I could see that he was trying to suppress a giggle so I raised an eyebrow. "I'll behave starting now. I promise."

"Do that again and I will punch you in the face." I said as I put my head back on his shoulder.

Silence.

I sighed. I wanted to talk but didn't know where to start.

"Mitch, I love you. Just wanted to say that before anything else."

I literally felt my chest constrict when he said that. It sounded new to me. When we dated before, we only got as far as "I really like you" but never that 8-letter sentence. I think my chest hurt because of too much emotion. "I love you, too, Scott. But are we really doing this?"