I am ME [ftm transgender boyxboy]

[18] Hopelessly Pathetic

A/N: Okay I’m getting scared for the ending, I’m not sure if I should make it happy or sad??/?/??//?

Okay so BiG thinGS happen in this chapter, prepare yourself.

ALso there's only one more chapter and then the epilogue. Thanks so much to everyone who's been here since the beginning, and everyone who just tuned in. All of you reading the shite I produce makes me so happy I can't describe. 

As always; much hugs and love to my babe Emily, and several large spoons for Ashton //coughs// dork.

The songs that inspired this chapter are If They Knew by Sew Intricate and All Signs Point To Lauderdale by A Day To Remember.

Read n00bs

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Today was it.

I sat up, staring blankly at the clock that flashed the time: 3:00, in green digital lettering. My mind whirred while Lonnie breathed gently against the back of my neck, completely out. He had no idea what today would bring. But I did.

It was Monday and in approximately two hours, I would have to get up, paint on a smile, and face the music. Music that I assumed sounded rather like a funeral march.

I didn’t want to lose Lonnie. Not after all we’d gone through. I didn’t hurt so bad just to end up alone again.

But I knew that in the end, it was not my choice. I had deceived him, and now I would face my sentence.

Though, in another light, I was so grateful for the time I had with him. I was so grateful for the arms he wrapped around me when I was weak. My heart throbbed with love whenever I thought on all he had done for me in such a short period of time.

He saved my life.

For two hours I laid there, agonizing. Until Lonnie stirred, and began trailing sleepy kisses up the back of my neck.

“School today baby boy,” he murmured against my skin, “time to get ready.”

I turned my head and kissed him tenderly, before stretching and practically flopping out of bed. Lonnie’s cute giggle made me blush, and he cooed.

“Awh baby you’re so adorable when your cheeks are all red like that,” he babbled, “I want to wake up like this every morning.”

 I stuck my tongue out at him, but stayed silent, gathering my things to get ready while Lonnie made a fort out of the sheets.

“Loser,” I chuckled as I strode into the bathroom.

“A loser that makes you whimper like a girl,” he winked, and my face flamed.

“Yes! More blushies!” he gushed, fist pumping.

I just shut the door.

Quickly, I undressed and redressed, not feeling like adding dysphoria to my list of things to deal with.

I styled my hair in under five minutes, so it was still slightly mussed.

I backed up, appraising myself.

My gray Of Mice And Men sweatshirt hit just to my upper thighs, which were covered by a pair of black skinny jeans with rips in the knees. I played with the edges of my overly long sleeves and focused on the rest of my outfit. A pair of black and electric green DC skater shoes encased my feet, which I shuffled nervously on the tile.