I'm so scared

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"I thought, this weekend we could start renovating Katy's room." Ian mumbled.
He lay on the couch, Mickey on top of him, they had put Kateryna down for a nap and enjoyed the silence around them a bit, since Yevy and Franny were at the Gallaghers.

"What for?"
"The new baby of course."
Mickey just groaned "Why would we do that now?"
"Because you are five and a half months pregnant and we have to start at some point."
"The baby would sleep in our room at first anyways."
"I know... but what is your plan? Starting with putting up the room when we already need it?"

Mickey shrugged.
"I don't get why we have to plan that now."
Ian sighed "Okay, we put that thought at hold for now."
"Thanks."

"When are we telling the others?"
"When the baby is here, we send them a card and say we went to a magic show and the magician randomly pulled a baby out of a hat, so we kept it."

"What?" Ian's asked confused.
"That's what my parents told my brothers when I was born."
"Did they believe it?"
"Of course, they did, they're stupid."

"No Mickey, seriously, when do we tell them?"
"You thought I was joking?"
"Mick..."
Mickey sighed "Look, I don't want to tell them yet. Okay?"
"Yeah, I got that impression too, but why? You can't hide it the next month's, they're gonna see the baby bump."

"I'll just say, I'm fat."
"Babe..."
"Don't babe me."
"Mickey, what is really going on? Why don't you want to tell our families that we're expecting another baby? That's something good."

Mickey sat up and sighed deeply.
"High risk pregnancy doesn't mean only high risk during the first trimester, it means, something could happen all the damn time. So, imagine, we tell your siblings. And then... I lose it again... You would have to explain that to them. And I couldn't deal with them, pitying me or whatever or try to talk about shit, I know that your family never shuts up."

Ian sat up as well and put his big hands on his stomach.
"Nothing will happen, Mick. Five and a half months. Almost six months, that's two thirds down. Okay? We got this, you got this, the baby got this. Dr Lynch said, it looks strong and healthy. Okay?"

Mickey bit his bottom lip.
"I'm scared." He whispered.
"I know"
"I've never been this scared of anything in my life and I don't know how to deal with it. And I wouldn't know how to deal with it, if it goes wrong again."

Ian nodded.
"I know, Mickey. And I wish I could help you somehow. I'm scared too, but we just have to hope and believe that it works out. We can't do anything else, it's not in our hands."

"That just makes it worse. I just feel... fucking helpless... And I hate talking about my feelings, that's all your fault with that fucking shrink." He said grumpily and looked away from him.

Ian smiled and hugged him tightly.
"Nothing will happen Mickey. We will have this baby. Just believe me. And if anything happens, you can blame me. But nothing's gonna happen, I promise."

"I don't want to blame anything on you."
"I know" he sighed "Okay, from now on, you aren't allowed to carry anything anymore, not even Katy. You aren't allowed to lift something up or bow down too much. You're gonna move as little as possible."

Mickey chuckled and leaned their foreheads together. "I love you" Mickey smiled and kissed the tip of his nose.

"I love you too. So, how about, we tell them when we reach month six? That okay with you?"
Mickey sighed deeply, "Okay. But no more baby plans for now alright?"
Ian nodded "even though we at some point have to get the baby bed and all the nursery stuff from Kateryna that we have in the attic."

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