Unwanted Attractions

Chapter 2

Rosa opens the door to find two young dwarves.
"Fili."
"And Kili."
"At your service." They say together bowing
"You must be Ms. Boggins," Kili says
Rosa chuckled "Uh, Yes, I am Rosa Baggins, at your service. uh, please come in."
She opens the door and motions for them to come in. They head their way in and begin unloading their stuff onto Rosa.
"Careful with these, I just had 'em sharpened," Fili warns giving her one of his many knifes
"It's nice, this place. D'you and your brother do it yourselves?" Kili asked scraping the mud off his boots on the edge of a chest.
"Ah, no, it's been in the family for years. Can you please not do that?! That's our mother's glory box."
"Fili, Kili, come on, give us a hand, "Dwalin says to them
"Mister Dwalin."
The dwarves laugh as they head to the dining room
"Do you know these dwarves Rosa?" Bilbo asks coming over to her
"No, you know I would tell you if I did, Bilbo."
"Right sorry."
"Let's shove this in the hallway, otherwise we'll never get everyone in."
Bilbo and Rosa look to see The four dwarves prepare to shift the furniture around to create a meeting/feasting place.
"Ev--everyone? How many more are there?" Bilbo asks
The doorbell rings very hard and longer than before. Bilbo, in anger, walks quickly toward the door, Rosa dumps all the swords and other equipment in her arms on the box as Bilbo shouts "Oh no. No, no! There's nobody home. Go away, and bother somebody else. There are far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If- if- If this is some clotthead's idea of a joke, haha, I can only say, it is in very poor taste."
Bilbo opens the door, and an entire heap of dwarves, eight to be exact, fall in. Struggling to get up, they grumble and yell at each other, saying "Get off!". Gandalf is standing behind them.
"Gandalf." Bilbo sighs

The entire group of dwarves, 12 of them, begins raiding Bilbo's pantry and taking out all his food. He tries to tell them to put it back, but they ignore him.
"Those are my plates! Excuse me! Not my wine. Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please! ...Excuse me."
Bombur walks out of the pantry with three entire wheels of cheese.
"Excuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?" Bilbo asks as Bombur passes him
"Cheese knife? He eats it by the block." Bofur tells him
Oin and Gloin walk through the hall carrying chairs from one of the other rooms.
"No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry, you'll have to take it back, please." Bilbo stops Oin
"I cannot hear what you're saying!" Oin tells pointing to his ears
"Take it back...It's antique, not for sitting on! Thank you!" He tries telling him again"That's a book, not a coaster. Put that map down, thank you."
The dwarves continue bringing all of the food and furniture into the dining room. Rosa helps them in till Bilbo pulls her to the side "Rosa what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to be polite and help them."
He stares at her confused "Why?"
She shrugs "Well Because... I don't know, I guess I feel it's what I should do."
The dwarves, sitting in the dining room, have a grand feast with all his food. They are quite rude and messy about it. Bofur throws some food to his brother, Bombur. Which he catches in his mouth, and everyone cheers. As everyone begins throwing food around. Bilbo walks away in disgust. He looks at his pantry in shock; it has been entirely cleared of food. Rosa walks up behind him and places a hand on his shoulder.
Fili walks on top of the table, carrying several cups of ale and knocking aside the food in his way.
"Who wants an ale? There you go."
"Let him have another drink!"
"Here you go." Fili hands someone ale
Dwalin pours his ale into Oin's hearing trumpet, and as Oin splutters in anger, everyone else laughs. Oin puts his hearing trumpet to his mouth and blows the ale out of it, making it squeal.
One of the dwarves yells, "On the count of three!" and the dwarves pound their tankards together. Someone counts, then all the dwarves go quiet and begin drinking their ale together. They are incredibly messy about it.
Once finished, they begin burping; the youngest, Ori, lets out the biggest burp. The dwarves laugh. Bilbo looks away in disgust. Rosa doesn't know how to react so you just looks down.

When the meal finish, the dwarves leave the table and begin walking about.
"Excuse me, that is a doily, not a dishcloth!" Bilbo grabs a doily from Nori.
"But it's full of holes!" Bofur remarks
"It's supposed to look like that, master Dwarf it's crochet," Rosa said
"Oh, and a wonderful game it is too, if you got the balls for it."
Rosa chuckled at his joke while Bilbo mumbled in frustration "Bebother and confusticate these dwarves!"
"My dear Bilbo, what on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asks coming up to them
"What's the matter? I'm surrounded by dwarves. What are they doing here?" He questions turning to face him
"Oh, they're quite a merry gathering, once you get used to them."
As Gandalf talks, Nori has a chain of sausages over his shoulder, and Bofur grabs them from him. They play tug-of-war with the sausages.
"He right Bilbo, we should get to know them before we judge," Rosa tells him while watching the two dwarves
"I don't want to get used to them or get to know them. The state of the kitchen! There's mud trod into the carpet, they've pi-pillaged the pantry. I'm not even going to tell you what they've done in the bathroom; they've all but destroyed the plumbing. I don't understand what they're doing in our house!" Bilbo tells the two in frustration
"Excuse me. I'm sorry to interrupt, but what should I do with my plate?"
"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." Fili takes the plate from him and throws it to Kili, who throws it behind his back to Bifur, who is standing at the sink in the kitchen. Bifur catches it, without looking. Kili, Fili, and other dwarves begin throwing the plates, bowls, and utensils to each other, eventually throwing them to the sink to be washed.
"Excuse me, that's our mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo yells as dishes fly over his head "And can-can you not do that? You'll blunt them!" He tells The dwarves at the table who have begun rhythmically drumming on the table with utensils and their fists.
"Ooh, d'hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives."
Kili begins singing and the other dwarves join him, as they continue throwing the dishware.
Bilbo huffs up in anger, only to find all the dishes stacked neatly and clean. The dwarves, Gandalf, and even Rosa laughed. Then suddenly, there are three loud knocks on the door, and everyone falls silent.
"He's here."

They open the door, and there stands Thorin.
"Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find." He says entering Bag End "I lost my way, twice. Wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door."
"Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago!" Bilbo says trying to look at the door but Gandalf closes it before he can
"There is a mark; I put it there myself. Bilbo and Rosa Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."