The Outsiders Imagines and Preferences

Reader is abused

Lyrics of Face Down by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

It was one night after a rumble all the boys were at my house instead of the Curtis'. They were all too busy with their injuries to notice I was shaken up. Not because of the rumble though. I wasn't in it. My half-brother was visiting from Texas and while my full-brother, who lives in Tulsa with me was at work. Our dad was at work too. He worked long shifts, for no reason other than he liked having a little money on the side so that he could do fun stuff with my brother and I, while Derrick, my full-brother was working, Brian had beaten me. It wasn't the first time he'd ever hit me. My mom sent me to live with my dad cause she was scared his hitting would get worse, it was usually no more than throwing small objects and I was the only one he ever did it to. But when he came to visit he didn't just hit me. He beat me. Hard. He held me down and whacked me on the back with a hard object that stung. He was drunk when he did it. Very drunk. I was sure there was a bruise or a cut or something there. I locked myself in my room and once Derrick got home I didn't tell him. Brian would just deny it anyway. Thankfully they were out hanging out doing I don't know what. But I didn't care.

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down

It was currently 11:30. Darry was sitting in my dads chair while Two-Bit was sitting on the arm of the couch that Dallas was sitting on. Soda was sitting with Pony and Johnny in floor while Steve was leaned on the wall standing up, all in the living room while I sat on the floor facing the sofa. I had my legs to my chest with my ankles crossed as I hugged my knees. I had on blue skinny jeans and a long sleeve black shirt and I was wearing my favorite black converse.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you

The boys were laughing and carrying on about nothing in particular. I had been more quiet that day. Even when one of the boys asked me why I just shrugged and didn't say anything. I hadn't spoken all day. I got up and walked into the kitchen and got a glass out of the cabinet to get some water. I didn't realize how shaken I really was until I accidentally dropped the glass and it shattered all over the floor causing all the boys to stare in my direction.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now, as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's got to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found

Boy was dad gonna be upset about this. As soon as the glass fell apart into millions of pieces I couldn't contain myself anymore "FUCK IT! JUST FUCK IT! JUST FUCK IT ALL! FUCK EVERYTHING, I HATE MY LIFE!" Man if the boys weren't staring at me before, they really were now. I never cuss in front of them, I'm always careful not to since I'm the second youngest. Ponyboy and I had recently turned 15, in the same month. I was only 21 days older than him.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wait around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down

I looked at the boys as I bent down to clean the floor, they were all confused, as to why I had screamed like that over something as small as a broken glass. "Hey Emma I'll clean that up for you." Ponyboy said as he stood up. "Thanks Pony I said as I moved to the sofa next to Dally.
"Don't cry." I thought to myself.
I hated for anyone to see me cry.
Not because I feel weak, but because it embarrasses me to let people see me like that. I don't know why though.