broken souls

13

  I go back to sleep and have a dreamless sleep.

I woke up to the sound of rain hitting the window. I rolled on my back and sighed. I still felt drained. I sit up and force myself out of bed I look in the mirror and feel like I hardly recognize myself. I’ve got dark circles under my eyes, my hair seems dull and face seems lifeless. . I go down to the kitchen and Roman’s sitting at the table with coffee waiting.

“Good morning" he smiles and hands me a cup of coffee.  I sit across from him as and he looks at me.

“You okay?” he puts one if his hands on mine.

I put my head in my arm. “so you think I look bad too, ha. Maybe I’m getting sick.” I laugh a bit. I look up and grin.

“Do you feel sick?” he asks as I drink some of my coffee.

“No. Just tired.” I shrug. “oh were suppose to go to Destinys today.”

“to train" he whispers.

I nod we eat breakfast and then head out. On the way to destiny’s apartment we hear on the radio that they found the body of Jenny Frederick’s. Off the shore.. I look at Roman and my heart sinks. I know she was one of the nice people in town to shelly. We drive in silence to Destinys and he drops me off, I don’t ask questions.

“so what are we doing today.” I ask as I sit down on her couch.
She smiles and looks at me. “we are going to practice manifesting your power visually.” I blink a few times.

“Uhhh.. okay how.”

She chuckles. “put your hands out and close your eyes" she says cupping my hands with hers. “focus on your light. And manifesting it in the palm of your hands. Let the light fill your body. And flow through you to your hands.” I so as she says. Picturing the light. It’s an off pink color. With streaks of dark violet. I open my eyes after feeling a tingle on my fingers. I stair at the ball of energy , almost electric, sitting in my hands.

“LOOK" I gasp to Destiny, she smiles and squeals.

“you did it I knew you could!” I extinguished it we practice with tarot cards.

“upright tower meaning sudden upheaval, broken pride, disaster… for your past.”
My mom, dad, and these killings I think to myself.

“Temperance, up right, meaning middle path, patience, finding meaning.” She eyes me and looks down flipping the next card over.

“The… hanged man. Pause, surrender, letting go, new perspective”.

“What does that mean” I ask.
She sighs. “Theres no one definite answer, it could change.”

I think about my present reading. Finding meaning… maybe between the valgarf and learning the truth about my myself and my mother, I’m finding my purpose… maybe.
After were done with training for a bit We drink some wine and talk for a bit.

“So you and Roman, how’d that happen?” she asks grinning.

“I actually don’t know. We didn’t get along at first, then all of a sudden we did. It clicked. I’m not sure.” I grin in to my wine glass before taking a sip.

“Well just be careful,… upirs are dangerous, and have the power to manipulate your thoughts… and memories.” She said sternly.
I look at her and blink.

“What.” I think about how Andy looked me in the eyes and told me to kiss him. And how he seems confused when I refused.

“Roman didn’t tell you?” she says raising an eyebrow.

“I knew HE could but I didn’t know they all could…” I sigh. “this is so confusing.” I tell her about Andy and she seems shocked.

“He tried to compel you and couldn’t do it!” shes practically sitting on the edge of the couch now.

“No. He couldn’t.” I say hesitantly.
Shes silent for a moment. “let’s keep this between us for now… it may come in handy.” She smirks and takes a drink.

   Later that evening I’m walking home, Roman wasn’t answering his phone and neither was Peter. My stomach felt funny and my muscles ached. Maybe I am getting the flue I thought.

I was half way home and the sun was setting when I ran in to a group of people leaving a local bar. They were talking about jenny.

“It’s a shame she always had a smile on her face, and something nice to say.” One girl says slurred.

I tuck my head down and keep walking feeling a tightness in my chest. None of the girls deserved what was happening to them.

I look up and realise I’m in front of my old house. My heart just about stops. I stair at the door, with the caution do not enter tape still up. I think about my bv dad and how I found him and I feel anger and sadness in side of me.

Suddenly I’m at the door. It’s like I’m watching a movie. It’s my hands and my senses, but I feel like I have no control. I go in. And go straight up the stairs to dads room. I’m just standing. Starring at the blood stained floor and bed.

“Why.”

“Why did you have to die like this… why do I have to be all alone.” I whisper to myself trying to not cry. “I need to know who did this…” I think of Andy and Roman. Upirs are a kind of vampire, right.. “damn it I just need answers!” I half yell hitting the door frame. Suddenly I hear a rustling. I look up and see some papers moving by my dads old trunk.

No windows are open…  I slowly make my way over and try to open the trunk. It doesn’t budge. I think of what me and Destiny worked on..
I put my hands on the lock and focusd my mind on getting the lock open. And suddenly I feel a pop against my hand. The locks open. I smile.
I dig through the stuff until I come across a small box with my name on it.

I take it out and open it, there’s a note, in a hand writing I don’t know.

Andrea,
I know if your finding this, I’m gone, and you now know the truth. Do not cry, I know your heart will be full. I knew what I was doing. And I’d do it again. Just know to stay true to your heart. And listen to the voice that tells you what to do. It might just save your life.
I’m leaving you everything I know. My book of shadows. And a pendent passed down from mother to daughter for generations in my family. Just know. This pendant will protect you and help you keep the darkness at bay.

I love you my beautiful daughter. 
Mom.

I look at the book she left. It’s a thick purple leather book tied shut with a matching ribbon, theres random pressed flowers sticking out of the top and then I find a small box, I open it and find the pendant.

It was on an old leather string, it was a sun with a gemstone in the center. It was beautiful. I put it on over my head and tucked it in my shirt. Grabbed my moms things from the trunk and walked the rest of the way home.