What Bacon Are You Smokin Kids

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Cananada waz the mega extra depresso. He was a smol sad boi smoking bacon on his balcony over Hell frozen over.

"I don't give a continental" he shimmied into his phone. "Siri, tell me  why Satan is pooping in the living room."

"IM nOt SiRi Im Daddy PrusSia?" Shouted Gilberty's clone, his face a picture of a child drawing of a tree.

Canada found it hot and started to breathe very heavily. This creeped out everyone in Hell, including Mack Daddy Prussia and his four thousand horsemen of the apocalypse that were in the kitchen casually eating dry clay (for that smexy crunch).

"Sbeve" said one of the horsemen, like a dog would, their faces as cringey as a furry's.
.
'Burn it' Cananananabooboo thought. 'It must perish'.

He was feeling a bit frisky today, so he decided to burn down the house and season it with paprika and dead birds. Prussia was fearing for the life he didn't have because he's finna ded.

"Aw dang baby girl" said Canadia to Pruskie. "You look like a burnt toaster strudel."

Prussia spoke in a spoken spoke, his eyes going woke in exasperation. "I be brutel like strutel. And you can't keep burning the house down, think of the children!" He gestured to the dead horsemen.
One twitched happily in dismay while another one convulsed, foam dripping from his mouth in sparkly green clumps as he did Fortnite dances. Canada stopped the dances using a sparkly fish made of silicone and lightbulbs.

Prussia tossed the fish into the fiery abyss and grabbed Canada's booty and kissed him on the eyeball.
Canoodle blooshed, his pink apron covered in the blood of his enemies.

"OWO, Prussia-sama-senpai" candodo sparkled. "I T-think that I might l-like you owo"

"Marlene we've been married for 5,000,000 years you shady bird woman."

Cabooble was confused in mega gay. He shut his mouth which was beginning to collect flies, ash, USB drives, and anime flower petals.

Then America zooted his booty in there. He was the worst kind of creature you could be: An attorney. He strategically blew into Canada's ear to get his attention and hopefully a blue flamingo.

"YO" he terrifyingly howled delicately into Canada's baby eardrum. "I GOT SET ON FIRE AFTER LIET COMMITED ARSON ON MY HAUS"

"Dang it boi i dont finna care" Canshiskabob said, not caring whatsoever. "Im tryna get some illegal memes from former U.S. President Barack Obama" he screams causually into the abyss.

"OWO" said 'Murica and then dogpiled on Mr. Sweden who was in Hell because he ganked Estonia fine a$$!!!!!1!!!1!!!

A salamander farted in the distance and PruCan was pronounced canon, because otherwise it would make no sense.

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