"I might be leaving soon," Kihyun said, and Wonho flinched.
"No, you can't-" Wonho swallowed. "You can't do that to us. Not now. Not so soon after Minhyuk."
Kihyun snorted. "You don't care if I leave. You wanted to say that I can't do that to Wonnie." Kihyun grew quiet and cast a glance over at their sleeping roommate. "He'll get over it."
"No he won't," Wonho said, his anger evident in both his voice and in the veins tensing in his neck. "He still can't get over the others, and they...they didn't know him like you know him."
"You mean they never saw him in his darkest hour," Kihyun rephrased, and Wonho hesitated before nodding.
"Hyungwon needs you," Wonho insisted, biting his lip. "I'm not kidding, Kihyun. He's falling apart."
Kihyun was quiet for a moment before laying down in his bed, arms folded behind his head. "We're all falling apart."
"Are you just going to let him break down like that?" Wonho's eyebrows furrowed with anxiety.
Kihyun pursed his lips. "They offered me a place in A-wing, Wonho."
Wonho swallowed back his initial response, My name is Nathan, not Wonho, and let him continue.
"Do you know what that means?" Kihyun's lips parted as he stared at the ceiling. "No cameras. Nobody watching me all the time. Nobody spying on me. I could finally relax." Kihyun looked over at Wonho with hard, defensive eyes. "If I don't go, I'm going to be the one falling apart. I can't- I can't let this just slip away from me, okay? I need this."
"What about us?" Wonho asked, his voice sounding hollow to his own ears. He was having difficulty in processing that Kihyun, the boy who had held Hyungwon during his panic attack, was going to leave them all behind for his own selfish reason. Even if it was a decent selfish reason.
"This has never been about us," Kihyun said, sitting up and crossing his arms. "This place isn't about making friends, Wonho-"
"Nathan."
"Fine, Nathan. You don't come here because you're lonely. You come here because you're screwed up and either you don't want to be or someone else doesn't want you to be. This has never been about us. It's everyone for themselves here. You look out for you, and I'll look out for me."
"Then who's going to look out for Hyungwon?" Wonho asked. He was angry, angry that someone who had seen through their vulnerabilities could throw them away just like that. "He can't look after himself, Kihyun. You know that. The narcolepsy, yeah, but the panic attacks too. He needs help. He needs your help."
"Well maybe I need help too," Kihyun muttered, turning over on his side so his back faced Wonho.
Wonho hesitated to respond, sensing that the conversation was pretty much over any way. He understood that Kihyun was doing what was best for his mental health, but it didn't stop Wonho from feeling hurt.
He knew it wouldn't stop Hyungwon from feeling hurt, either.
