"We each have a roommate," Minhyuk explained to Hyungwon after the school part of their day was finished. For one reason or another, possibly because they were deskmates, Minhyuk had taken the role of Hyungwon's tour guide. He was both effervescent and physically affectionate, often putting his arm around Hyungwon or patting his back, and Hyungwon was comfortable with neither.
"They can't let us room alone because, you know," Minhyuk continued, oblivious to Hyungwon's quiet discomfort. "They don't want us to kill ourselves or something. But if they put all of us in the same room, we might cause trouble or just drive ourselves closer to the edge-"
Hyungwon wasn't exactly sure what edge Minhyuk was talking about.
"-so there's just two to a room. But it's hard figuring out who rooms together because, well, I mean, you wouldn't want to put Changkyun and Kihyun in the same room because they'd probably end up crazier than they are already. It has to do with mental compatibility, really. Shownu's pretty good at calming Jooheon down - you'll see what I mean later - so they room together. And I know Jooheon seems like an asshole and I'm supposed to make some excuse for him but that's usually just how he is, you get used to it." Minhyuk paused as though recounting his train of thought. "Okay, so Shownu and Jooheon, right, and then I room with Changkyun. He's a nice guy once you get past all the stuff he's always spouting off about. But do me a favor, yeah? And don't, you know, patronize him. He doesn't like it when people act like he's stupid. He's crazy, yeah, but we all are, and we gotta look out for each other, you know? No need to hurt the poor kid's feelings."
Hyungwon nodded because he sensed that Minhyuk wanted him to.
"Good. And Kihyun - do you remember him? - he rooms with Wonho. But since you're here now...hmm...maybe one of the rooms will have three? They don't like leaving us alone..."
"Isn't-" Hyungwon had to pause to clear his throat. "Isn't Wonho new too?" He paused. "I thought...isn't his name Jay? Why does everyone-"
"He's new, and he's not new," Minhyuk said with a crooked grin, still walking fast, but Hyungwon didn't have to work very hard to keep up since his legs were a foot longer than Minhyuk's. "Jay's new, Wonho's not. Wonho's been here a long time. Like me!" He grinned. "It's a funny place to think of as home, but there isn't anywhere else for kids like us, really. You make do however you can."
"Is he...I don't understand," Hyungwon said, Minhyuk's cryptic explanation having cleared up absolutely nothing. "Is he Wonho, or is he Jay?" He paused, remembering vague phrases from movies and textbooks. "Or...or both? Does he have multiple personalities?"
"It's called dissociative identity disorder if you want to slap a name on it," Minhyuk said brusquely. "But we don't like names here. Labels. Some empty form to fill in with your information. We're people, not disorders."
Hyungwon slowed down, a bit frightened, as it was the first time he'd seen Minhyuk display negative energy all day.
"But, what the hell, it doesn't matter," Minhyuk said with a blinding smile, and that scared Hyungwon more, the shift from extreme to extreme. "He doesn't have it. He's not both; he's just Jay right now and then he'll be someone else later, but he's always Wonho." Minhyuk smiled, tilting his head to the right. "And Wonho is always nice, no matter who he is. That's how you know that it's Wonho. I already told you, names don't matter here. Sure, maybe to the doctors or the people watching us on their screens, but not to us. We're just kids. Call it whatever you want. I don't care if you call yourself narcowhatever or not. I'm not the one figuring out what drugs to put you on to make everything go away, I'm just trying to get by myself, and I could care less about what your diagnosis is."
Hyungwon supposed that it made sense. And he knew well enough for himself that not every case fit squarely into whatever the textbook said it was.
For instance, he was supposed to be a "Good Son" and a "Normal High School Teenager" and "Someone The Parents Can Be Proud Of."
He fell a step behind Minhyuk and raised his left hand, letting it hover by his neck, before dropping it and letting it swing loosely at his side.
Maybe he did belong here, more than he knew.
