Hope and Hardships

Chapter Two: A Visit to the Counselor

The weekend went by faster then I wanted it to even though it felt like a lifetime. I can't believe it's already Monday morning. I wish it wasn't because starting the eleventh grade at a new high school a month after school started and not knowing anyone isn't something I was really looking forward to.

Not just that but after school I'm getting dropped off to visit the counselor Hazel wants me to talk to twice a week. I don't know why she set it up when there is no way in hell I'm going to talk to some person I don't know about my life, about what happened or about anything for that matter. My plan is to go and just sit there and wait for it to be over because I don't need to talk about my emotions or feelings.

I'm perfectly fine after everything that has happened this past summer. I'm getting passed it by myself and talking about it isn't going to help. I rather just deal with everything myself and hopefully it will stop haunting me. I don't need someone to talk to to tell me everything is going to get better or that they understand what I'm going through. I doubt they have any clue which is why everyone should leave me alone.

Why force me to talk to someone about what already happened instead of just letting me move on by myself? I don't see the point if you ask me it's a waste of their time but I guess they won't find that out until later. It's their money they're wasting so whatever.

So other than stressing over today the whole weekend I spent the rest of the time getting to know my new legal guardians Tina and her husband Joel. I didn't really want to but I know I should to be nice since they were more than willing to let me just come into their house and start living with them. I was actually surprised they weren't as bad as I thought they would be.

The whole way up when Hazel was driving here I kept thinking they were going to be mean. Don't ask me why maybe it's because I never been in this situation before and I just assumed the worse. I mean come on why would people want to just take in kids when their own parents didn't want them? Especailly me with everything going on in my life. I'm just some sixteen year old with a lot going on with my life. Even I wouldn't take myself in since I'm just another pregnant teen that has nothing left. My parents didn't even want me and I have no friends now. I have to start over at a new school which is going to suck. It isn' like I can hide this unplanned pregnancy forever until people start to find out.

The only people that know about me being pregnant is Hazel, Tina, Joel, my parents and practically everyone I once was friends with but here no one else knows and I want to keep it that way. Besides it's not like I'm keeping the baby after I have it. I already know I don't want it because it will only remind me of everything that happened. That's probably another reason why I just want to keep to myself and not get to know anyone. I rather not get close to someone when my life is so messed up as it is right now but Deven is making that impossible.

While Jace and Tyler the other foster kids my age living with the Jensen's know to leave me alone Deven sure doesn't. He won't leave me alone no matter how much I try to ignore him and be mean he just doesn't get it. And having to share the bedroom with him doesn't make it any easier. He's like some annoying fly buzzing around trying to annoy me no matter how much I shoo him away.

For some idiodic reason he thinks he can get me to become best friends with him when that's not even remotely possible. Me being friends with him is never going to happen no matter how hard he tries. I wish he would just understand by my actions I want to be left alone. It isn't like I came here because I wanted to, to meet new people or make friends like it's a vacation. It's the exact opposite it's beacasue I had no other choice. Hazel chose for me to stay here and I deep down wanted desperately to get away from all the people I once called friends.

If I could go back to the fourth of July when the event that changed my life happened I would. I would have chose differently because I never wanted any of this. I didn't know what was going to happen at Seth's house was going to happen because if I did I would have stayed home and never went. None of this would be happening then but there's no point in thinking of what I could have done. What happened happened and I'm the one left to have to deal with the consequences by myself.