panic attack

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[Yoongi's POV]

There was no way for me to fix this.

That was the only thing repeating itself inside my head as me and the Alex-Lucas couple parted our ways after paying for the food and sharing our phone numbers. I had wanted to leave the restaurant as soon as I heard the awful news. Lucas had asked me if I was okay, but I couldn't answer him in my current state of mind.

I was now walking to the Bangtan apartment at 10:30 pm. It was dark and some drunk guys were already breaking the previous balance of the Seoul streets. The smell of sweat and alcohol were strongly present in my nose even through the mask I was wearing. Quickening my pace a little more and tightening the jacket around my shoulders I was only a few blocks from home before a thought popped into my head.

Would I have to explain the guys my condition?

I was still denying my new body, and I knew it, but all of this happened way too fast. The day before yesterday I was just a sick music producer and now I was a very confused and scared cat hybrid mutation. I wasn't fully human but neither I was fully a hybrid. I was some mutation that existed somewhere in between those worlds.

How am I going to explain something to people that I didn't fully understand myself?

I really don't know the answer to that question but I guess I have to just go for it as I was already walking up the stairs for our apartment complex. We lived in a dorm inside this huge building that housed many other singers and actors. We were occupying the pent-house so we had a little bit of privacy. Even if out apartment was luxurious and expensive and we could have employers do everything for us, we did everything ourselves. Bought and delivered the groceries, cleaned, anything that came to out apartment we wanted to do ourselves.

Now I stood in front of the door separating me and the guys hoping that everyone was already asleep, so I would have more time to mentally prepare telling the guys. Opening the door I quietly made my way inside in a similar way I escaped to the bathroom this morning. Quietly taking off my shoes, jacket and scarf I try to listen to any noises coming indicating that any of the people were awake. I hear nothing.

As quickly and quietly as possible I make my way to mine and Seokjin's room, but before I could get there I saw a person sitting in the living room facing my way. It was a very tired looking Jimin.

"Hey, hyung, where were you? I was worried..." Jimin softly asked sounding sleepy. He was cuddled up in a blanket on the sofa, clearly fighting falling back asleep. I must have woken him up.

"I was out with a friend. I guess I forgot to mention", I say walking towards him a little bit not to seem rude. I really wanted to just hug him and spill all of my worries to him while he would rub my ears, but I can't afford to do that right now. I needed to collect my thoughts and manage to tell the guys about what happened.

"Hyung, are you okay? You seem bothered by something. You can always talk to me or the rest of the guys, you know?" Jimin said his eyebrows furrowed in worry tilting his head to the side a little making him look adorable with his fluffy hair.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you Jimin. I really want to tell you what's bothering, but I don't know how anyone will react", I quietly say looking down. I really didn't know how anyone would react when I would tell them about me being what I now am. It could go really bad and I could be sent somewhere to be tested on for the rest of my life.

Negative thoughts were quickly consuming my head making my head spin. I knew this feeling. I could see the world start to blur and spin. My breathing was starting to shorten and turn into gasps of air. My heart was beating way too fast. All of it just came rushing down at once. The week of being alone, the change, the confusion, the shock, the realization I would be like this for the rest of my life. I was having a panic attack and a bad one at that.

[3rd POV]

Jimin was looking at his hyung in worry. When Yoongi's eyes glossed over with panic, Jimin knew what was going to happen in a few moments. Quickly taking a hold of his hyung he placed him on the couch next to him and hugged him tightly hushing him and telling him things were going to be okay.

Jimin wasn't new to witnessing Yoongi having bad panic attacks as he used to have them frequently in the beginning of their career. Pre-debut Yoongi was afraid Suga wasn't going to be liked by the fans as he looked to be cold in front of the camera. Truth was he was just super shy, but on the outside it didn't look like that. Yoongi was afraid he would get kicked out of BTS and he would have to live on the streets.

Yoongi used to have panic attacks when he overthought everything convincing himself everyone hated him. Once Jimin caught him crying in the bathroom and Jimin had immediately hugged the older even if he wasn't that close to him, but he knew how to comfort the older. Yoongi has also comforted Jimin when he was battling his inner demons, so they were comfortable around each other.

Yoongi's silent cries had now somewhat settled, and Jimin raised his head from his hyung's shoulder to look him in the eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jimin gently asked rubbing Yoongi's back with his small hands. Yoongi had hugged Jimin back unconsciously and now detached himself to lean back on the couch cushions. Gently nodding Yoongi braced for the worst. He was going to tell Jimin.

"I have something to tell all of you guys, but I want to tell you first", Yoongi started, took a little break before continuing with a shaky breath.

"I was actually out with a person who answered a couple of my questions about this thing that happened to me", Yoongi started explaining and decided it would be the be the best to just show Jimin like he did for Alex and Lucas. He reached for the beanie still on his head with a very shaky hand afraid of the reaction he was going to get.

As he pulled the beanie down to his lap, two black ears came to Jimin view. The ears were pressed back flat on his head in sadness and shame. Yoongi was ashamed about his new features.

"Yoongi-hyung, I don't -- Is it about what happened yesterday? The kink thing? Hyung, we accept you, and --" Jimin started, but was interrupted by Yoongi when he took Jimin's hand and placed it on his sensitive ears making them twitch under the youngers hand.

"What? Is this real?!" Jimin yelped a bit too loud, but quickly covering his mouth with his other hand that wasn't touching the silky ears on the olders head.

"Yes, t-they're real. So is t-the tail" Yoongi said quietly choking back a sob and tugged his tail free from underneath the stiff fabric of his jeans for the second time today. The tail curling around his thigh tightly in self-comfort.

"I'm a h-hybrid now"


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