A Lesson Or A Blessing.

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Where on one hand is what seems like the perfect choice and solution, yet with loopholes of different kinds, and on the other, is another choice that you do not even know what it's like to be in it,

When you're unsure, dropped in a world of indecision, not because you chose it but because you have no absolute choice,

When all you want is to crawl, somewhere, alone, maybe, with no one or anything, just you and yourself, with no one to disturb that peace and silence,

When your tears do not matter no more, it's like the more the tears fall, they loose their worth, its crunching, so painful,

When your head pains, its searing, but it's not a part of some migraine, it's just in you,

At this point, I do not know if it lies within me, it definitely has to be from me, the problem is from me, I've come to accept that, but despite accepting it,

a lot of time I wonder where that mistake is, where that little piece is, where is it? The piece I missed.

Am I unthankful?

Am I ungrateful?

Am I not hopeful?

Is my iman not enough?

Am I so weak?

don't I trust Him?

Am I a step back?

Am I not worth it?

Why?

Do I question his decision a lot?

Why?

I do not know.

So many things are going on, yet I am afraid of turning to Him cause a lot of people have by far better problems than mine,

Maybe my brain is too dull to grasp the reason why I have to fail for something not bad.

Is that trying to protect me from harm?

I'm skeptical, and confused.

I'm trying to be good yet each trial I make turns out bad.

believe me...

Its hard not knowing what to do, or what path to choose,

The thing is teddy bear,

The man I took a drop from, two days back, found me in the majid i always hide, i do not know how, but he did, and teddy bear,

He asked me to marry him.

Yours, teddy pie.

A single tear dropped, and she didn't try to shove it away, she knew she had to let it out, now that she looked at her words, she muttered astagfirullah, months, after that, she'd take Farouk's proposal as a blessing if only she weighed down how bad her situation would have been,

If sediq had gotten a hold of her, she shivered, things wouldnt have went smooth. Life wasnt always perfect, but one thing Muneenah realized in the past few months, was, things happen in the best interest of the servant, No doubt, decisions are often misunderstood, but even so, things pass, no matter how hard the situation is, it goes, someday, it does. Few months back, if someone told muneenah her problem would pass and teach her lessons along the way, she wouldnt have agreed so easily, everything seemed to be at its peak and everything looked so messy at that time,