Paper Scars || camren

Chapter Ten

"Camila." Lauren breathed, pushing the girl back.

"We're just kissing," Camila replied coyly. She watched Lauren's hesitant eyes. "Do you want me to stop?" She asked, frowning when Lauren didn't respond. Camila sat up straight and ran a hand through her hair. "Ooookay." She huffed, getting off of Lauren. Lauren's eyes sparkled as she watched the moonlight from the window cascade on her. The lacy black bra Camila was wearing wasn't helping Lauren in her effort to resist either. Lauren's breath hitched as she watched Camila pull her shorts down, revealing her black lace panties that matched her bra. Her hair was a little messy as it rested on her smooth skin and Lauren gulped at how raspy Camila's voice was. "What?" She teased.

"That's not fair." Lauren stated firmly.

"I'm just getting ready for bed."

"You're trying to seduce me." Lauren sat up.

"Is that what you think?" She walked over to Lauren, smirking when she saw a look of lust in those green eyes.

Lauren stood up so that Camila would have to look up at her. "It's what I know." The smell of Camila's perfume made Lauren weak.

Camila leered at Lauren. "Is it working?" She whispered into Lauren's neck.

"Not in the slightest." Lauren replied. You could hear the shakiness of her voice, making Camila smile.

Camila rested her hands on Lauren's waist, refusing to break eye contact. "I wore this for you." She spoke in a low voice, referring to her matching lace bra and panties. "You can feel if you want to."

"No thank you." Lauren struggled to get the words out. She forced herself to look anywhere but at Camila's slightly exposed body. It wasn't that she didn't want to rip off the rest of Camila's clothes right now—because believe her, she did—but all their relationship had ever been based on was intimacy. What did they have if they didn't have that? Lauren needed to find out if they could actually be together for a couple of hours without fighting or having make-up sex. There needed to be something more to it. "You're beautiful, but not tonight." She added.

Camila huffed, meeting their eyes. "You just want me to talk about my feelings some more, don't you?" Lauren smiled at her. "Lemme tell ya, Jauregui, you're something else. I would have never turned this," she gestured to her undergarments, "down if it were on you." She watched as Lauren laughed and felt a hint of nervousness in her chest again. Everything Lauren did was suddenly so important to Camila, every move, every action, every subtle gesture... She had never felt like this before with Lauren, or with anyone for that matter.

"What's wrong?" Lauren asked, a look of concern on her face.

Camila snapped out of her thoughts. "What do you mean?"

"You spaced out." Lauren brushed a couple of strands of hair from Camila face back. "You looked a little upset. What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, baby." Camila smirked, trying to play off the trance she had just been in. She couldn't let Lauren know she was scared, she had just gotten Lauren back. She was going to have to plan everything very carefully. She couldn't fail, not when she was with Lauren. Thoughts of not being good enough surfaced, and Camila was once again silent.

"Camila." Lauren looked at the girl worriedly. "It's obviously not nothing."

"Can you just leave it alone?" Camila snapped. Lauren rolled her eyes, knowing it would come to this. She had gotten an answer. They couldn't be together without having some sort of fight. "You're always pushing me. Don't you think we've talked enough? Let it go." She regretted it as soon as the words came out of her mouth. She watched as Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, confused by Camila's sudden hostility.

"Well, you were pretty upset just a few hours ago. I'm finding it a little hard to believe you don't want to discuss that. And now you're spacing out. You're obviously mad at me for leaving—"

"I'm not fucking mad. I shouldn't have even said anything." Camila huffed. "This is why I don't talk about shit with you." Lauren was still confused as to why she was so angry with talking about things. "You never want to move on from things. I have to be so damn careful saying shit around you because I don't know what you'll overanalyze." Lauren's expression changed to hurt.

"I don't think I'm overanalyzing anything. Just a couple of hours ago, you were sobbing in my arms from something that I did. I obviously hurt you. Why are you—" Lauren rolled her eyes when Camila cut her off again.

"Why do you care?" Camila asked more rudely than she originally planned.

"Because I care about you." Lauren replied calmly. "This is all new to me, Camila. I'm just trying to figure it out as we go."

"Well, don't. It's not going to happen again. Drop it." Camila crossed her arms.

"Okay." Lauren walked away from Camila to the nightstand to gather her things. "Maybe I should go." She waited for Camila's confirmation, but instead what she heard surprised her.

"No." Camila replied immediately before she sighed. "I'm sorry. Please stay. I don't want to fight." She paused, waiting for a response. When she didn't hear one, she continued. "I want to wake up next to you tomorrow, whether it's clothed or unclothed. I don't care. I just want to spend time with you. Please don't leave. You just got back to me." Her voice cracked at the last sentence but she went on. "I don't know what this will be like." She admitted. "I don't know anything at this point. I don't know anything besides you." She broke eye contact to stare at the ground, unconfident in her next confession. "So please don't leave. You're all I have."

Do something. Lauren thought to herself. This had never happened between them. Camila was so unpredictable in when she would drop an emotional bomb like that. "I want to stay. I just..." She had to process her words. "I never know what you want."

"I want you to stay." Camila stated, her eyes glistening slightly.

"Then I'll stay." Lauren replied simply. "For as long as you want me to. I promise."

Camila breathed relief before she walked over to Lauren and embraced her again. "When did we become such saps?" They both laughed and shared a quick kiss before returning to each other's arms.

But they both knew this conversation had to happen some time. They both knew that they had hurt each other horribly the last time they were together and even now. It was only a matter of time before the truth came tumbling out.