vandrophobia

Heart to Heart to Corpse to Heart

Wintar dyed his hair black.

Because of me.

I don't say a word and only turn back to face the front.

"Woah, Wintar!" I hear Jeff behind me. He drops his bag by his desk. "What's with the change?"

Wintar lifts his hand and points directly at me.

"She said black would look better."

"Lira?" Jeff says, surprised.

Keep staring ahead, Lira. Maybe if you stay quiet, no one will know you're here…

I sneeze from the rising butterflies.

No!

I sneeze again. Jeez stop flying around!

My mind won't stop repeating the line: Because of you. Because of you. Because of you Wintar dyed his hair.

I sneeze once more. Go away!

"Here." A hand holding a tissue appears in front of me.

"Thanks," I murmur, but I suddenly recognize the smooth, perfect outlines of the hand.

"I can't take this tissue!" I cry out standing up.

Wintar and Jeff are both looking at me confused.

"Um, why?" Wintar asks.

I use both hands to point at the tissue.

"This tissue is yours!" I say to Wintar while keeping my eyes only on his hand. "I cannot take what is yours! I-I don't know if I can handle that!"

I hold onto my head. "Am I good enough for this tissue!? Of course not! I mean, everyone wants a tissue at some point, but some people are meant for Kleenex, others want Puffs, and some prefer more generic brands!"

My hands shake.

"S-so I can't take this tissue! I can't do it!"

I stare at it one second longer.

"GAH!" I yell and walk out of the room leaving both Jeff and Wintar speechless.

w w w

Out in the hallway, I take a breather.

You've got to pull yourself together Lira. Shake it off. Shake it off.

Now…

What do you want!

I hold my arm up with one finger pointing to the ceiling.

No more Python!

And how are you going to get it!

I pull my arm down and close my hand into a fist in front of my face.

By testing Wintar three times in hopes he'll pass them and I'll be able to live my days freely forever without worry or care…other than applications to college next year…and the SATs…and the homework and tests…and, of course, if Wintar passes, then it'll only prove that he really likes me and I'll have to figure that all out!

Really need to simplify that…

"LIRA."

I spin around.

Seriously. I just spun around in a full circle.

The janitorial staff has been really waxing these tiles, haven't they?

I finally stop. Python is in front of me.

"So it seems you passed the first test," she says.

I try to appear humble and only lightly nod.