vandrophobia

Black is the New...Err, Black

I spent all weekend thinking about Wintar.

It's just one of those things. Let me explain.

Until the guy, whoever it is, finally confesses to you in person, then no matter who confessed for him—whether a friend, a friend of a friend, or a three-year old named Aaron—the proxy confession will never have that definitive certainty. Because if it's anyone but the guy himself, you will still question it, doubt it, wonder if it is really true, wonder if you misheard, or wonder if perhaps you've misinterpreted and all the other weird skeptical mojo that goes on in your head.

And you can only think so much before you go ker-ray-zyyyyy. And knowing me, I've got enough of that already.

Jeez. Look at me. I turned into Socrates over the weekend.

Now it's Monday morning and I'm walking to school with Jeff. He seems a bubbly.

"So…" I say, "How was your date on Friday?"

Jeff smiles for a millisecond before frowning.

"It was, it was alright."

Trying to hide from me Jeff? I tackled a cameraman for you. You owe me.

"So…" I say, "Aldabella is boring, huh?"

Jeff doesn't speak for a moment. Then I hear in a monotone voice, "Yeah. Really boring."

Okay, girl who lunged at a grown man to save your date here…

"And…" I say, "No exciting moments? At all?"

Jeff looks up, pretending to think. He shakes his head. "No, not really."

I don't know why I'm so impatient, but I grab Jeff by his collar and pull his face a hair away from mine. I raise a finger and I see his eyes veer left to watch it.

"I TOOK DOWN A DANGEROUS MAN FOR YOU! So don't you go all 'mehhhh' or 'ehhhh' on me!"

"Man?" Jeff asks.

Out of my peripheral vision I see two girls from our school walk by….really slowly. They're obviously staring.

"I told you they were a weird couple…" I hear one whisper.

The other one nods. "I'm just glad it's not Wintar…"

I finally let go, but my determined expression stays. I look like I'm about to snipe someone.

"I want the truth," I say waving my finger all over the place. "Don't give me an indecisive answer and go all willy-nilly about your date with Aldabella! I know you two didn't get along in the beginning, but you know what? Aldabella is a nice girl! I saw a connection! I saw laughter in her eyes with a nostalgic excitement she seemed to missing out for a while."

I clasp my hands together.

"Poor girl. Stuck in a business where she has to hide her true personality! Like in Plato's Allegory of the Cave! Her personality is only a reflection of the forced impression the public has given to her! Same for you Jeff! I don't want your pretty dancing shadows! I want the truth! The truth!"

Call the police. There's a sagacious Lira on the loose.

Jeff is gawking.

I wait.

He closes his mouth, then opens it to speak, but only closes it again. He takes in a deep breath and looks at me in amazement once more. Then, finally, his voice returns.

"I can't believe it. You actually followed…"

I cross my arms.

"You actually followed along with what we're studying in class!"