The Fragmented Luna

My Purgatory

 I ran quickly through the school parking lot as the swirling vortex of shoes clouded my eyes. I had to find my way through the chaotic movement of my peers with only a limited amount of time. I felt my nostrils expanding, and my lungs filling with air, as my feet pressed onto the gravelly pavement. The only good part about catching a bus that was about to leave was the rush of adrenaline that filled my body. The leaves in the slightly cool air crunched loudly in my ears. The scar on my face burned with each whip of the wind against my maimed skin. The weight of the backpack as it slammed into my skin ripped the breath from my lungs. All of these things were good; they meant that was alive.

I heard the Pssssssssh whoosh of the bus doors around me closing.  A panic set off inside my mind,  my body fueling me to focus on finding Felix's bus among the numerous amount of buses. I breathed a sigh of relief when I noticed a bus that had not made an attempt to move. I felt the muscles in my legs crying from overuse as I ran towards that remaining stationary bus. I raced the rest of the way with determination filling my every move. 

"Glad you could both make it", Felix said to me with a broad grin as I arrived at the door. I turned curiously around to see who Felix was referring to when he said both. I saw Nixon standing with something that resembled a grin etched onto his features. I wanted to wipe the grin off his face but that required me to actually reach out and touch him. If I continued interacting with him it would only mean trouble.

I took a seat in the very back of the bus willing my heart to stop beating rapidly. I had enough excitement for a lifetime within the span of a few hours. I stared outside the window of the bus at the passing trees feeling anxiety. I felt caged; like the walls that I made around myself for protection were now trapping me inside. I wanted to open my wings but I didn't have the strength. As I watched the trees the image in front of me became distorted. I felt my head pounding at the brief flash of memory. It was night time and I stood on a path where trees swayed. There was a storm brewing; the tree branches came out to swallow me whole. I recited my mantra, 'its not real' to keep myself from focusing on the trees. After a few moment, my breathing calmed, I felt reassured that it was just my imagination.

I was glad when Felix finally reached my bus stop. I knew that inside I was safe and sheltered, but outside I was vulnerable. I pulled my hoodie over my head and walked towards the front of the bus. I felt eyes staring through me but I didn't see anyone. " Bye Felix", I mumbled quietly towards him. 

"Have a nice day Rowen. Also your friend is staring", Felix stated with a wide grin. I turned around to see Nixon staring into my eyes with an emotion I didn't recognize. I felt my scar throb. A deep blush crept onto my cheeks as a result of his unwanted attention. I flew off the bus but didn't head inside right away. I kept checking over my shoulder for a few moments until I accepted that no one was there. I blamed Nixon for making me feel so exposed earlier.

I waited a few minutes outside before I sought shelter from the cool weather in my house without much fuss. The house was empty but that wasn't unusual for weekdays. I walked down the hall. There were no family pictures that lined the halls, the rooms were bare, but it was home. I inspected the fridge and found a lasagna that was saran wrapped with a note scrawled on it. The note stated 'Needs to be cooked for 30 minutes, Aunt Tabby'. If I wanted to gag I would cook the lasagna, I thought to myself. I crumbled up the note and tossed it in the wastebasket. 

Once I reached my paint room a sense of relief rushed through my body. If it were up to me I would remain inside this house for an eternity. All I needed were my paint brushes, my paint and my easel. I ran my finger along the easel with deep affection. It was the only thing that gave me comfort throughout the years. I grabbed my smock from the closet and set up a palette of mixed colors. I used my bristled bright brush to swirl a vortex of dark colors together.

I painted for a long time not really thinking about the image that I created. When I looked up my heart began to race. It was the image from earlier of a forest at night lined with trees. I ripped the painting from the easel and threw it next to the others. I wanted to paint something else but all I painted these past few months was the same painting. I didn't want to think about it anymore so I stepped into the living room.

Aunt Tabby stood in the living room with a worried expression on her face  "Rowen I can see you didn't get my note about dinner", she stated in a somber tone. "I took the liberty of heating it up myself. Please remember to change from your paint wear when guests are coming over", she told me with a pinched smile.

I looked down at her with confusion. I didn't know we were having guests tonight. Right now, all i wanted, was to curl up in my bed after taking medication for the raging headache. "I'm not feeling well. I'm just going to head on up to bed", I said.

"Not this time. I promised Samuel you would eat with us", she said. I disliked Samuel; he was always staring at me funny. I didn't like the way his eyes followed me around a room. However I knew Aunt Tabby was not going to let me skip out tonight. She stood with her arms crossed angrily.

"Fine, I'll change now. But I make no promises that I will be nice to him", I stated in a hissing tone.  I angrily stomped up the stairs and changed out of my smock. The clothes I wore were speckled with paint so I had to change outfits. I put on a long sleeved plain shirt, grey jeans and my favorite pullover hoodie. I willed myself to relax as I went downstairs where both Aunt Tabby and Samuel waited. 

The over baked lasagna filled the dining room with an atrocious scent. I sat down in the empty seat next to Samuel with discontent. I ignored the leery expression on Samuel's face and focused on my empty plate. I scooped up the burnt lasagna. It was so hard I swore I heard it clink onto my plate. Honestly, I needed to get out of this house before my Aunt Tabby accidentally killed me with her cooking. I snickered at how horrible it tasted under my breath.

"Something you want to share with us", Samuel asked. I looked up to see his smug expression as he stared into my eyes. It made me uncomfortable that the attention was on me completely. I didn't understand how he heard me from that far away. 

"Nope", I replied, as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I noticed Aunt Tabby looking at me with contempt in her eyes. I ignored her angry expression, picked up my fork, and took a bite of the crunchy lasagna. There was an awkward silence but everyone went back to eating. I hated the lasagna but it was better than talking with the couple.  

"What are your plans for college?", Samuel asked out of nowhere. I had no plans for college, not that it was any of his business, and I didn't want to answer him. I shrugged my shoulders and looked at the floor tile. I just wanted to survive my last year of high school without gaining anyone's attention. 

"Aunt Tabby said you like to paint", he stated. I didn't respond. "You have the perfect hands for painting. I've always admired your hands", Samuel continued. He reached across the table and touched my hands gently. I didn't understand why Aunt Tabby let him come over to visit; it was clear that Samuel was a creep.

"Not sure", I responded as I ripped my hand away from his repulsive grasp. I felt bile rising up in my throat by his advances. I wished Aunt Tabby would stop inviting this scum over the house. 

"Rowen, we have to tell you something", Aunt Tabby spoke. Aunt Tabby had a giddy expression on her face that made me wary. Aunt Tabby displayed her hand like it was a piece of art, but the gesture didn't quite register in my brain.

"We're engaged", Samuel finished. And here I thought school was my personal hell, but nope. Apparently I was wrong; this was way worse than any day in that purgatory.