raising hope | s.m

♡Forty-Four♡

This chapter does have kinda sensitive topics so... sorry

Shawn

Maya is laying next to me with her head buried in the pillow. My fingers brush up and down her arm. A small smile forms on her lips. I kiss her forehead before getting up and walking over to Hope's crib. When I go over, Hope isn't there. My heart pounds. I hear Maya cry out behind me.

"Shawn!" Her voice holds all the pain in the world. When I look back, she's clenching her stomach and crying. I'm by her in a second. Her hand grabs mine tightly. She's crying and screaming. I'm terrified. She's not even in her second trimester. Her cries soften. I've been so busy looking at her face, I haven't looked at her lap. She's sitting in a pool of blood. She collapses back onto the bed.

"Maya," I cry. Tears run down my cheeks. I try to shake her awake but nothing happens. I go to find my phone but it's not on the nightstand. I'm going to lose her.

I wake up and frantically look around the room for Maya. She lays, peacefully, next to me. Relief and a hundred other emotions fill me as I lay next to her. She rolls over and puts her head on my chest.

"You okay?" she asks softly. I nod and clear my throat.

"Yeah, just a bad dream." She rests her head on her hand and looks up at me.

"Tell me about it," she inquires, tracing patterns into my arm.

"It's nothing. Just a small dream." I kiss her forehead.

"You sure? It woke you up, babe." She kisses my chest.

"Positive. I just need something to drink, you want anything?" I question, sitting up.

"Orange juice please." I nod and kiss her head. Walking into the kitchen, I grab two cups and pour orange juice into both of them. Quietly, I open the cabinet and dig for the anxiety pills. I take two out and let them sit in my hands. I haven't had to take these since I started seeing Maya. That was over a year ago. These pills changed my personality. They did help though. They made me not care about what happened to me. It was like they stopped all of my feeling abilities. Taking a deep breath, I take them, before walking back into the room. "Better?"

"Yeah." I set her glass on her nightstand and walk over to my side of the bed.

"Good, now let's get back to sleep." I lay next to her and wrap my arms around her.

The next week goes by and she hasn't seemed to notice. I've taken them every night before bed. She lays with her head on my shoulder and without thinking, I shrug her off. She glances at me but doesn't put her head back.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" She questions. "We can watch Harry Potter."

"No."

"Well, what do you want to do? We can't sit around and mope all day." She stands and grabs Hope out of her playpen.

"Nothing." She bounces Hope on her hip. 

Maya

I'm slightly taken back by his tone. Hope glances at him too. I put her down and she walks over to him. He doesn't do anything. He's been strange ever since the night he woke up at two am. Hope hits his knees, trying to get a reaction. She stomps her foot.

"Daddy!" She huffs. She walks back over to me and I pick her up.

"It's okay Hope. Daddy's just in a bad mood," I glance at him only to see him roll his eyes.