The Players (TP4)

52 - If I had five minutes alone

Lana sighed. "I won't deny that's what he wants, but it doesn't mean it's what I want. I may be stupid with yield and indirect costs, but I'm not that stupid!"

"I never said that you were. Seriously, Lana, the guy isn't going to stop until he makes his way back into your heart."

"Good luck to him, because there is no room for him there. It's full of people who are caring and trustworthy. I would choose Adam over Erik and it ain't going to happen. I'm going to bed."

"Lan, I'm sorry."

"Yeah Ryan, I know. I just wish you would trust me to not screw up my life. Sometimes you remind me of Nora and well..."

"Night Lan." He couldn't say what he wanted to say, which was he and Nora had something important in common. They both loved her and had trouble showing it.

Lana

Lana knew it was her fault for letting Ryan know everything about her life. She gave him a reason to distrust her. He was the only one she told about sleeping with Erik. She never told Heidi or Mari or Beth, because she was too embarrassed. If she convinced Ryan it was meaningless then he would think she was a slut. It wasn't meaningless, it served a purpose in helping her move on. She knew after their encounter she no longer wanted Erik. Besides the trust issues, she no longer loved him. Her problem was not she didn't love Erik it was who she loved.

She tossed and turned and heard Ryan when he went out for his run. They didn't make plans to meet up for coffee so she stayed in bed curled into a ball, dozing in and out after her restless night. She was asleep when he rapped on her door. "I've got a big cup of coffee with your name on it. Well not really, because The Landing is not Starbucks, and it's so much better. Lan, are you up?"

"Yeah, yeah."

She threw on a sweatshirt and opened the door. It wasn't until Ryan stared at her she realized she didn't even brush her hair. Here she was with bedhead standing in front of gorgeous Ryan Harris in her bare feet and a worn pair of flannel pajama bottoms. Underneath the sweatshirt, she had an even older t-shirt and no bra. She imagined the remnants of the mascara had smudged her eyes. She had put it on the day before to look good for Ryan.

"Okay, it's not a freak show. Not everyone can look as good as you when they wake up in the morning!"

He just shook his head as if confused and handed her a large cup of coffee. He took a sip of his own. "So we have plenty of time, do you want to shower first?"

"I should. It will take me longer to look presentable."

"I doubt it. Jack was a little hurried this morning. I'm surprised he even ran. I would think it'll be no small task to get his family dress at the same time."

"Is Maddie cooking too? How can she do it all?"

"No, he said something about caterers."

"That's smart. Are you hungry?"

"There's a bag on the counter. I didn't know what you wanted, so take the first pick. I'll take what's left."

Inside was an assortment of pastry items. She took a blueberry muffin. "I'd like to see you eat the rest of this."

"You can save some for tomorrow and think of me drinking horrible coffee again."

"There are only about nine months until Summer!"

"Don't gloat!"

Any awkwardness from the night before had once again vanished. It was impossible not to find a comfortable rapport with Ryan. She didn't care he saw her at her worse, but she made sure she looked nice. She wore a dress she had for years and heels which she hadn't worn in forever. When she saw Ryan in a suit, she almost bruised her chin on the floor.

"Presentable enough for you?"

"You clean up good, Harris."

"You too Lan. Definitely, you too."

She knew she blushed. "Makes up for the fright I put you through this morning."

Ryan shook his head but didn't reply.

The church ceremony and the gathering at the house were very nice. Lana took some pictures of the smiling Godfather. Jack and Maddie didn't make Lana feel uncomfortable because she wasn't part of the family. There were children of various ages running around, but most were older and enjoyed entertaining Emma. Rory was happy to have Sam by her side. Lana hoped whatever their future held it would be better than hers and Erik's. If they didn't last she hoped it wouldn't result in broken hearts. She heard Sam say that he was going to college in Portland. She suspected his decision may be as much about Rory as it was financial.

Lana met Evie and Tom, Emma's godparents. It surprised her to learn Tom had been Emma's doctor when she was born. Lana like everyone in The Point family, knew about the circumstances of Emma's premature birth. Lana found it quite a coincidence Tom moved to Maine and married one of Maddie's friends.

"It's a small world," Tom said.

Lana nodded in agreement as she smiled at his baby in his arms, who was not yet a year old.

Lana had seen Laura, Maddie's other friend through the years but had always known her as Maddie's friend with the two girls. She definitely brought life into any room. At one point Lana was next to Laura as Ryan was off talking to the men about the amazing baseball season.

Laura said, "I remember when I found out at the wedding there were two of them."

"Two?"

"Jack and his brother, it's a thing of beauty."

Lana laughed as she worried Laura might drool. Laura's husband was nice in his own right.

"So how long have you been with Jack's brother?"

"Oh no! We're just friends."

"I've never had a friend look at me the way he looks at you."

Lana laughed. "He's probably just surprised I could look presentable after he saw my bedhead this morning."

Laura shook her head. "You just keep telling yourself that, honey."

Lana ignored her comments and wandered over to visit with Kelly Harris. After a few minutes, Ryan joined them. She teased him about taking off his suit coat and tie.

"Look my father did too. I waited for him as my role model."

A phone call interrupted Ryan. He answered with a simple hello.

"I'm with my family. Hold on let me move someplace quieter."

Lana watched as he went into Jack's office. She wasn't proud, but curiosity caused her to move close to the open door. She could hear him. "I'm really glad too." There was a pause. "That's why no one knows me like you do." He ended it. "Me too. Bye."

Lana moved quickly away from the door to make sure Ryan didn't see her. He didn't come out immediately, and she imagined he was basking in the memory of what was obviously a very intimate conversation. She could pretend everything else she heard was platonic, but she knew what calls ending in 'me too' meant. The caller told Ryan she loved him and he loved her back. Why was he not inviting her to the benefit? Oh my God, what if it was Isobel, and he was lying to her about his feeling all this time? Lana needed to prove she was better than that woman. It annoyed her Ryan had opinions about her friendship with Erik when he was still - whatever it was he was doing with Isobel.

When he came out, he gave her a forced smile and went to talk in his mother's ear. Kelly hugged him and then he came back over to her looking more like his old self.

"Sorry, an old friend."

"Isobel?" She didn't want to play games.

"What? Oh, God no! I wouldn't take her call."

"So this friend is special. Why didn't you ask her to the benefit instead of me?"

Ryan laughed. "You asked me, but I would never ask her, because she is someone else's wife. She's just an old... why do I have to explain myself?"

"You don't. We're just friends." Lana walked away from him.