Whatever oneshots •Boyf riends•

Pretending hurts [Angst, part 2]

~Jeremy's pov~

Everyday seems more black and white without Michael, sure my... my digital friends, being the squad of popular kids, are like super colourful with their clothing style and shit, it's just that... without Michael is hard.

KEEP PRETENDING, LEADING MANS DON'T CRY. LOSERS DO.

I pretend my smiles are genuine, I pretend to laugh at someone's jokes, I pretend I'm not crying. I'm pretending to not feel horrible. I'm pretending to hide the fact that I'm making the only real person who cared about me feel inconsequential.

KEEP PRETENDING. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE MICHAEL'S SIDEKICK ANYMORE, AND TO BE FAR FROM THAT, YOU HAVE TO PRETEND.

I'm sitting with the popular kids now, my back arched and my arms folding as I stare at everyone like I'm not afraid of my own death. I'm really only afraid for what the SQUIP will do to me if I show any signs of weakness. So, I continue to pretend. It's been four months since I blocked Michael, four horrible months.

The SQUIP sends an all too familiar energy of abusive electricity current through my body, so familiar that I don't even flinch. I only blink, I have to blink away the pain.

YOU WERE FROWNING A LITTLE, GET IT TOGETHER.

I... Sorry...

I blink and look forward, lost in a daydream as Jake talks about how excited he is for the Halloween party coming in two days... a party that I'll be going to. That's cool, I guess...

The same electronic current zaps through my body like a motorcycle running me over.

YOU LOOKED DOWN, ALL GLOOMY AND SHIT. COME ON, JEREMY, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND STOP BEING SUCH A CRYBABY.

Can I see him, please?

WHAT?

Michael, just briefly! Wait, is he even around here—

YES, SITTING IN YOUR OLD SPOT ALONE. LOOKING AT YOU.

Tears almost rain out of my eyes, or maybe they do. I beg

Please! Can I just see him?! It's been four months, and I can't stand looking at photos of him and feeling horrible.

FINE, SAY THE WORD AND LOOK AT HIM. AFTER YOUR DONE DROOLING OVER HIM, DISBAND FROM THE GROUP AND GO TO THE BATHROOM.

The Bathroom?

THE BATHROOM.

But, why?

I CALCULATED THAT AFTER YOU STARE INTO MICHAELS EYES, YOU'LL FLOOD THE SCHOOL WITH YOUR PITIFUL TEARS. WHILE YOU DO THAT, I'LL PREFORM SOME MORE SHOCK THERAPY TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER.

Oh... well, okay... then

JUST SAY THE WORD, REMEMBER WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN AFTER YOU'RE DONE.

Optic nerve blocking: off.

~

~Michaels pov~

I feel super horrible.

I feel super empty.

I feel like a ticking time boom ready to explode. I'm mad, but Its a sad mad kind of deal.

I glare to Jeremy.

Why would Jeremy do this? Why did he have to do this to me? Why is he leaving me... why? Is there an explanation? Probably, the SQUIP. That's all I can conclude, and so, I've been searching about The SQUIP everywhere. And when I say everywhere, I mean everywhere! Even WarCraft! I really need to get Jeremy back, because I remember that Scary Stockboys words about the SQUIP.

'This is untested technology. And it's not exactly legal. Which is why you're paying for it with cash in the back of a shoe store. I take no responsibility for what you do with it. Or what it might do to you.'

In my train of thought, I notice Jeremy's shoulders suddenly relax. And he looks like he had just caught a breath he didn't know he was holding.

I hope there's nothing extreme happening to Jeremy, even though he has basically blocked me from his vision thanks to The SQUIP, I still pray for his wellbeing.

I blink, and something extraordinary happened.

Jeremy looked behind his shoulder in a panicked expression, like he was frantically looking for something. I guess that something was me, because almost immediately after he turned his head around he looked at me.

I blink, surprised to see Jeremy look at me after four months of looking blankly ahead and not in my direction.

Jeremy's expression is odd describe, relived and upset. He looks so happy, an expression that wasn't fake for once. Very genuine, with a small happy smile. But soon that happy smile dropped, and he looked heartbroken. He looked very heartbroken. So heartbroken I swear I saw tears spark his eyes, he stopped looking at me. For a moment I thought he was going back to blocking me, but then he stood up. Saying something to the kids around him. Rich looked at him, with for once a genuine expression, and expression that showed only sympathy. As if he knew what was going on. Which if anything, he probably did.

I watched as Jeremy looked at me for a split second, looking like a helpless puppy. Before I could decide what he was doing, he turned and muttered something. Lines forming under his eyes, which by now were blinking away any sort of tears as he ran off to the direction of the Bathroom.

...

...What was all that about?

My hand grips my arm, since I still have my arms crossed. I watched that the whole time, unsure of whatever was happening. And now, I'm unsure if I should run after him or not. But what's the use, he probably blocked me again...

I choose to not run after him.