A Different Kind Of Love Story

2. Finally over

  I got in my class as quickly as possible. Didn't have a reason, just wanted to.

  This was my last day before summer vacation and let me tell you: I was absolutely exhausted.
  It's been a long, but also short year. Full of stress and bad toughts, sleepless nights, arguing and so on. Nothing is perfect, in fact, my life is far from perfect. I don't have a bad life, I'm just going through a tough time.

  This hour was mostly chill: we didn't do anything in particular. I mean I didn't do anything in particular. Others were chatting while I was drawing on a ripped paper taken from my notebook. Nothing exciting.

  After some minutes, I got bored of drawing and began thinking without even wanting to:

  This is...boring. Like all my life.  Ugh! I hate these thoughts! Why...do I have to be like this? My best friend left me, my parents are constantly arguing with me about how much I use my phone, I probably have deppression, although I self-diagnosed so I'm not sure... I might just be going through a phase or something. Dang it! Why does no one care! Hnghhh... If I can't talk to my parents, then who?

  It went like this until a loud ringing sound brought me back to reality.

  Hmpht. Last recess, huh? Let's get through with this. I said to myself.

  And so, I went out, 'cause you can't stay for the love of God in the building, not even in the last day.
  The air was...air, as always. (Wtf)
Anyway, I just went and sat down on the ground, because they don't have any benches in here.
  As I was minding my own business, someone came up to me and asked me if I'm dead.

  Great. Freaking jerks. Can't you mind your own dang business!?

  I just said "Yes" with no emotion in my voice, while I was looking at the ground.
  The kid just laughed and walked away.

  That's why I hate all of you, buttholes.

  Even though I don't really care about anything, I still can't bring myself to swear sometimes. I wonder why.

  And the bell rang again, finally. I got into my class where everyone was gathered around the board, writing stuff. I just went to my seat and layed down my head on my table.
  Suddenly, Hannah came up to me and said: "You should look up to the board." (Hanna is just a random classmates who Den likes a little more than the others)
  I slightly lifted my head up and saw written on the board: "We won't miss you, assholes!". Ha, ha. Very funny.
  The feeling is reciprocated, trust me. I never want to see you again.
  Everyone was laughing because of the stupid 'joke' that they made, until a teacher came in and stopped the nonsense.

                  After going home

  Ugh. Finally over for good. Was all I was thinking.
  After about 20 minutes my mom came home from work.

  'Hey! How was school?'
  'Oh. You are already on your phone. Why can't you do something useful, like cleaning or helping someone?'
 
  That's how my conversation with my mom went. It's always like this.
  I sighed at her complains.

  You know, I could complain about you too, but you wouldn't like it.

  I just continued on with watching YouTube. I was obsessed with it.
  Watching other people's lives was much more interesting that participating in mine. It's the...truth.
  Sadly, my parents weren't very...happy about me discovering YouTube... I understand why, but it's the only thing that can make me happy right now. Everyone else failed at that.
 
   Anyway, days have passed and I came across this game about robots. I loved that game, I still do. It was a rare thing for me to love something back then, so it was exciting.
  I was fascinated with robots, so much that I tought:

  I should just stop feeling anything, it would be so much easier that way. I could become the 'perfect' girl that everyone wants.

  It was a very stupid thing, I know. But I thought that was my only solution besides...death. I went with the 'no feelings' option, and I'm very glad.

  After a month of pushing feelings aside and trying not to cry, I became good at it. I felt nothing. No pain, no happiness, no nothing. I basically became a plant, like my parents were calling me, because all I was doing was eating, drinking and sleeping.
  There was a time when I didn't like being called like that, but at that point it was nothing more than just a plain and simple word, just some random letters put together.

  Some time later I came across a video about deppression and the stages of it. I already watched a bunch of videos like that, but one more couldn't hurt, right?

  So I watched it. I was...pretty surprised, because most of the information in this video was unknown by me. I just discovered that I am in an 'advanced' stage of deppression or something.

  I mean, I was thinking about...things, but... Ugh... I don't want to...fix it...do I?
I should, but I don't...have anyone...

  It was true, I had no one to turn to for help. If I would've told my parents they wouldn't have believed me. I know it.  I've been dropping hints here and there, big hints. They didn't pick up on them, though. Funny.

-920 words-