Swell (Complete)

Chapter Forty-Two (Part Two)

"I'm finding this out the hard way,
Nothing's quite what it seems."

....

Dodge had slept in Adora's room last night, so had Edgar and Agatha.
Her shower had been extra long that morning and she had skipped breakfast and had a honey and lemon tea to try and soothe her throat.
She could feel nerves in her stomach about her performance, but letting herself feel them only made her sick with guilt.
Everytime she thought about Gus, her face pinched and she fought tears. Iain picked her up before her performance and took her to the school. He escorted her to the music rooms and gave her a kiss on the forehead before he handed her over to Kurt and Rae.
She tried to be present in their conversation, but focus was near impossible. She was scared of failing for the first time in her life, and it wasn't because she hadn't tried, it was because she couldn't handle emotions, because she couldn't handle grief.

When Will arrived they were in one of the smaller rooms warming up. Adora held tightly to an acoustic guitar as she sat in front of the microphone stand. She felt his eyes on her and remembered the text she had ignored from the day before.
She almost expected Iain or Dodge to enter not long after Will, maybe they had decided to give her space during her music performance.
"Is everyone ready?" Will unpacked his guitar and forced a smile.
"As ready as ever." Kurt smirked and Rae looked from the drummer to Adora.
She just nodded. She wanted to speak up, but she couldn't find her own words. There was an awkward air in the room and she knew it was because of her.
"Brett wishes us luck." Will started plucking at strings as he looked at her, she looked back at him and felt her breath catch in her lungs.
"You saw Brett?" She whispered.
"Yea, I went to check in on him this morning."
Had Brett told him about Gus being murdered?
There was something in his eyes as they stared back at her and something told her that Will knew.
"How is he?" Rae asked gently.
"His legs are healing fine, Gus' death has kind of thrown them all out of orbit though." Will looked away and Adora tore her eyes away from his face and focused them down to her guitar.
Adora plucked at the strings on her acoustic and took a deep breath. There was a knock at the door and moments later they were set up in front of their assessors.
It was hard for her to keep focused on the playlist, she could feel Will's eyes on her through most of their performance. The slower songs they played made her have to tense her body in order to fight the trembling.
She didn't have stage fright, this was a different fear, this was a sickening end of life type.
Gus' life.
It had been easier to believe he'd killed himself than it was thinking he was murdered, but she couldn't lie to herself.
Would she get a card like she had after Brett's attack?
Had Gus been murdered because of her?
Through all her worrying she was on automatic pilot for more than half the assessment and she was lucky she knew the songs by heart.
By the time the set list was over she was fighting tears.
She shakily took her guitar into one of the smaller rooms and turned the light off before closing the door.
Iain or Dodge would be coming to guard her soon, but she needed some time alone, she needed to try and convince herself that everything that had happened was not her fault.
She leaned into the darkest corner of the small music room and let herself slide down between the walls.
She didn't know who it was, she hadn't asked for their attention. She didn't want their affection or their murder.
Nobody did.
She put her face in her hands and let her trembles break into violent shaking. It was one thing crying in the arms of family, but crying alone in the dark was another.
It was more freeing.

Adora lost time in the dark tears, and when she was all cried out she felt a cold exhaustion wash over her. The shivers took over her grief and she wrapped her arms around her knees.
There was a knock on the door and she jerked and looked to the slim rectangle of glass in the door. Will's face greeted her eyes and she felt any energy left in her body slip to the floor as he opened the door.
"Hey." He closed the door behind him, leaving the light off.
"Hi." She responded in a thick voice as he sat opposite her on the floor.
She heard him sigh and looked to her shoes.
"Brett told me Gus was murdered."
She felt a fresh wave of tears threatening to break. "So what?" She asked thickly.
"He's worried about you, we're all worried."
"Doesn't matter." She shook her head and looked up to the roof.
"None of this is your fault."
"I know." Her voice broke as she whispered the two words. "But it feels like it is." She heard Will shuffle closer to her and felt his hand on her knee. "Don't." She looked at him and shook her head. If anything happened to one of the Taylors because she loved him and Marti she didn't know how she'd not lose herself.
"You'll get through this, it's a small town, how much longer can this guy keep doing this without being caught?"
"I honestly don't want to know, Will. I feel like poison, like just being near me paints a target on people. What if Brett had died too?"
"He didn't." Will's fingers gave her knee a gentle squeeze.
She forced herself to look at him in the darkness and saw his soft smile. Her heart sank and she let go of a shaky breath.
"Look, I know you're not allowed to be alone, especially with Marti and me, but you were there for us both last week, for Liss. I know I speak for both of us when I say we want to be here for you. You told me not to push you away, and I started to do it anyway. I'm sorry." Will stopped and Adora forced herself to look at him. "It was an asshole thing to do, and this is me, trying to stop being an asshole. You said you needed to feel safe, and I... I didn't deal well with anything. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal, but I don't want to leave you alone."
As much as Adora wanted to push and shove and scream at Will to runaway, she felt the tension in her muscles loosen.
Will had no reason to scare her or be the stalker; Adora already liked him, he didn't need to do anything to get her attention.
"If you still want to go to the dance, I'd love to join you and go with you."
She took a deep breath and it caught in her chest as her face pinched. Would he be in danger if she said yes?
Marti and Iain had already decided they were going together, the girls were going to get ready at the Escape and Iain was going to come pick them up and drive to the school gym where the dance would be as a group.
Will's eyes didn't waiver, and she took another shaky breath before she released her knees and leaned over to him.
"Thank you." She put her arms over his shoulders and around his neck.
He put his arms around her back and nodded over her head.