XXIII : To Belong

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Demi's POV

"We were so worried about you, dear." "I'm sorry..." "Oh, it's okay honey. I'm so glad to see you again." I could feel how my mom quickly wiped away a tear herself. "I know why you ran away. I know exactly how you've been feeling towards us the past years. And I'm the one who's sorry. We shouldn't have judged you. We shouldn't have been so negative about it. I just thought it was a fase, you know." She pulled away from the hug and cupped my tear-stained cheeks. "If I had known you would run away, I would've looked at it so differently. I would've known how serious it was. How sure you were of being a lesbian. And it's fine. You are who you are and it doesn't make you any different. You're still my beautiful, intelligent girl." She pressed her lips on my forehead. I had dreamed of these words for 4 years straight.

"I have so many questions." I breathed, smiling through my tears. "Yes, me too. Come in, please. You can stay as long as you want." "I have so much to tell you as well." I grinned. She took my suitcase and went inside with me. I hadn't been in here for so long. Barely anything changed. "Where's dad? And Miriam?" I asked, looking around. My mom placed my suitcase near the stairs and headed right into the kitchen. "Your dad's at work and your sister is at school." "I can't wait to see them again." I smiled. I could see my mom looking a bit worried for a moment, before continuing making her tea. 

"So." She began. "Tell me where you went when you ran away." "I went to Sandy, from school. I stayed there for a month before I bought my new house." "How did you get the money?" "Grandma's jewelry. And I also started working at this apple farm immediately to save money." I explained. "I didn't expect you to be this independent." She smiled. I nodded, thinking for a moment. "Why didn't you look for me, if you were so concerned?" "I knew exactly how you were doing. I had a very reliable source." She smiled. "Who?" "Jacob. It would be the brightest moment of his day. He knew exactly what responsibility he had, and so he would pay extra attention to your wellbeing. You don't only take care of him, sweetie, he takes care of you as well." She spoke. I followed her into the living room, thinking of what she said. I never knew Jacob was keeping an eye out for me as well. It created a smile on my face.

"He never told me." "We didn't want you to think he was our little spy or something, but he kinda was." She shrugged her shoulders. She sat down on the couch. I looked around, deciding to sit down in the chair. "No no no, I missed my mother-daughter cuddles. Come here." She opened an arm. I couldn't decline her offer. I stood up again with a wide smile, sitting down next to her. She placed an arm around me, making sure I was comfortable. 

"You could've at least told me you didn't hate me after all." "Oh sweetie, I never hated you. I just wasn't very fond of the idea of getting a daughter-in-law. I had to get used to it. But you know, I started to realize that if you were my precious gift from God, his creation couldn't possibly be flawed. I no longer saw your sexuality as a flaw." "But you still didn't contact me." My voice softened, looking at the tea warming my hands. My mom took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling to think of her words. "I figured you needed time to sort it out yourself as well. Your runaway was probably the best thing that ever happened to you. Beforehand, you just weren't your best self. You needed to learn how to be a grownup." I looked at her, listening to her words carefully. I guess she was right. I wasn't mentally stable at that period of time, I needed a break from it all. I needed my skin to be thickened.

"I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel,
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away, and find myself today

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